Mother inlaw

[Icklemissme123]

Has anyone else had problems with their mother in law?

I don't know if she means to do it but it seems everything she does is to annoy me. it's started off when I was in labour I had to have an emergency C-section afterwards I got sepsis I didn't really want any visitors but my other half's wanted his family there I did try to give birth naturally first and I wanted my mum there but his mum wanted to be there and said if my mum comes shes coming.so I couldn't have my mum there. when visiting did happen I had a catheter in and obviously after birth you do feel exhausted the back of my nightie was undone I can't remember why it was just Left Undone with the window open I think it was because I was really really hot and then I go really really cold with the sepsis. his mum made a big point of walking behind me after I told my other half not to let anybody go behind me on the bed which they didn't need to the baby was in front. the next thing that happened was when we were at 1 is Mum just kept telling him to bring the baby down bring the baby down id went to my mum's as I wanted some help after my c section cause i wouldn't go down his mums she told my partner she thinks i have depression bring the baby to her and take me for help. When i was well enough i did go down to his mothers she wanted to see the baby every day (us travel to her) when i was there i wasnt alowed to hold her if my baby cried and i asked for her back id be told to leave it and to sit down. My partner is alowed to hold her i asked him if i could have her and his mum butted in pass her here i want her. His mother also tells me to feed her good jars (shes 3 months) also we told everybody not to kiss the baby on the lips as we've heard about all the bad things that was going on with it the herpies so we told everyone in hospital plus we're non-smokers and everybod on both our sides of the family smokes so didnt want her kissed on the lips even i dont. his mum kissed her three times on the lips and when I questioned it told me not to be silly. when she was 1 months old she wanted me to drop down the pram and my daughter so she could show her to her sisters i wasnt ready and told her that so she didnt talk to my other half for 3 weeks (best time of my life!!) Am i being over the top?

This isn't her first grandchild its her 6th

Urgh she sounds like a pain in the butt. If she insists on seeing you and the baby all the time, just say she has to come to you (you're a new mother with a tiny baby, this is not unreasonable).
Hopefully that will automatically reduce the amount you have to interact with her.

She sounds very selfish. You had every right to have your mother with you when you gave birth without your mil throwing a hissy fit.
Obviously your mil is family and wants to see her grandchild but she sounds too demanding and your dh needs to take your side.
Stand your ground and only do as much as you want and is reasonable.

You need to stand up to her. Not having your mum at the birth just to keep mil away was just ridiculous. Your OH needs to tell her she is being a nightmare and that neither of you will tolerate her behavior.
She is sabotaging her relationship with her grandchild.
Maintain firm boundaries and don't pander to what she wants. You are a mum. Stand up for yourself and do what you want and what you want to do.
I'd be keeping a distance.

Thank you for your support. My DH makes me feel bad when i dont want to see his mum but she just really gets to me. When my daughter was born she bought her size 18 months clothes ans told all my dh side of the family too. At easter she gor her a milky bar egg and jarmies aged 2 years! Shes 3 months. Im trying my best but it breaks my heart when my daughter cries and im not alowed to ask for her back she tried to make me feel incompetent as a parent each time id go down she'd tell me my little one has colic, shes crying cause shes in pain im not doing this or that right id go home and just cry thinking im not a good parent. But 3 weeks away was pure bliss. Im confident and happy but when i have to see her its got to a point i really resent her and hate seeing her. All day on my labour day she told me she was coming and i kept saying no. She was demanding to have my baby at a month old when i wasnt ready to leave her getting her daughter and son to come up for the pram and my baby. But i asked dh brothers partners and she wasnt like this with them!

I’m so sorry you are going through this your MIL sounds like a bully, I just wanted to say that you are allowed to do whatever you want with your child. If your child is crying you can take your child back and comfort her no matter who is holding her, don’t let her make you think you can’t do that. I think telling you to sit down and leave it is just awful. I think there needs to be some boundaries put in place as she seems to be calling the shots and telling you what’s happening when it’s not her place, if you feel strong enough then I’d advise standing up to her. Best of luck these relationships can often be tricky but this is your baby and you decide what’s best for her. X

You really do need to stand up to her. She obviously sees you as weak and feels she can override you. The next time she tries to do something you are not happy with say a firm 'No' and repeat if necessary. If she goes to take DD out your arms then it's a firm 'No'. Same with if she sends others to get your DD.
DH needs to stand up to her.Dont allow him to make you feel bad. He is part of the problem if he can't support you in the solution and if I'm honest if be really dissapointed in him.
If you start this 'No' and don't show any wavering or weakness she should get the message. (She will resent you but really I wouldn't care about a woman who would make me so uncomfortable and stressed whilst I was in labour).