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Original poster

Newborn help please??

40 replies

London2019aa · 04/05/2019 21:23

My newborn is 1 week old, I’m exhausted. He feeds every 1.5-2 hours through the night too. By the time I have fed him, winded him & changed him he’s hungry AGAIN I have no time to sleep or do anything. Is this normal? What do you do? I don’t sleep at all at night

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SimplyPut · 04/05/2019 21:25

Who can help you? Feed... handover and nap!

Original poster
London2019aa · 04/05/2019 21:27

My partner works 12 hours. Is it normal

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ThisIsTheEndgame · 04/05/2019 21:28

Pretty normal, they have very small tummies so can't take much in and digest it very quickly.

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mommybear1 · 04/05/2019 21:28

Are you on your own OP? If you have someone else with you ask them for help sleep deprivation is the worst. Take any help available if you are comfortable with it?

moreismore · 04/05/2019 21:28

This is totally normal. Things that helped me...only change him if you need to (ie a poo). Use plenty of cream at each nappy change so you don’t have to wake them to change a nappy. Look into safe co sleeping. It’s the best way to get the most sleep (esp when bf. Once they get a little bigger feeding lying down means you barely notice you’ve been awake)

SparkyBlue · 04/05/2019 21:30

My older two were like this so unfortunately yes it's normal for some babies. I remember once nearly falling down the stairs from exhaustion. We now have another newborn and are actually shocked as it's a different experience this time around. Honestly OP it does get better

IWouldPreferNotTo · 04/05/2019 21:30

In the first few weeks we did mother feeds and hands him over for winding, changing and putting down. I found that I got the hang of doing it almost in my sleep to the point where I had to ask if he'd fed during the night as I didn't remember doing things.

Organisation was the key. Have everything laid out including spare clothes as you will probably have a leaky nappy event or four. Or at least I did.

By four weeks everything was much calmer and we no longer felt like we weren't sleeping at all.

The other thing we did was split tasks. If something doesn't require breasts then delegate it

GrumpySprout · 04/05/2019 21:31

Totally normal and it’s so very draining. My LB also suffers with reflux and gas so has to be held up right after every feed for at least 20 mins so it felt like my head had only just hit the pillow when I needed to be up again.

It will pass, my little boy is now 3 months old and goes 3 hours between feeds in the day and can go 8 hours at night (although more likely 5). It does get easier, hang in there!

Aquamarine1029 · 04/05/2019 21:32

This is totally normal. Your baby is growing at a staggering rate and he is instinctively working hard to establish your milk supply. Try to relax as best you can and sleep whenever he sleeps. Eat well and remember to stay hydrated. Don't worry about anything else. It can wait.

whitehalleve · 04/05/2019 21:32

It's definitely normal! I think your partner needs to lose some sleep too to give you at least a couple of hours consecutive sleep. You'll feel so much better.

Sexnotgender · 04/05/2019 21:33

You don’t need to change him every time he feeds, maybe do every second or third time.

It does get easier, my DS is 13 weeks and it’s so much easier now. Just hang in there!

SimplyPut · 04/05/2019 21:33

Utterly normal, but quite the shock to a new mums system. Your baby has such a small tummy so little and often. It does get better, but I would take all help available.... mum, sibling, friends?

wevraver · 04/05/2019 21:35

Agree with PPs re changing...unless he’s done a poo, you really don’t need to change him every 1.5 hours.

Cluster feeding is totally normal in the early weeks, he’s establishing the milk supply. I promise it does get easier!

SpeedyBojangles · 04/05/2019 21:36

It's completely normal for baby to feed this much and completely normal for you to feel exhausted and overwhelmed. But it will pass and get easier I promise Thanks

avocadoincident · 04/05/2019 21:37

Mumsnet Breastfeeding Club www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/3571416-mumsnet-breastfeeding-club

This is a breast feeding thread and some mums are experiencing similar things so you may want to read that.

But anyway your baby is very young and needs to feed on demand. It's a tough time but it gets easier. Your body is still trying to recover from birth.
Have lots and lots of skin to skin time and stay in bed. Watch tv, watch the baby and doze. You'll never get the time back and it does pass quickly.

If you have any relatives or friends let them help...by cooking,cleaning, washing, shopping. You need to be with the baby and you need to rest.

Your milk supply is still finding it's feet and you will find the gaps between feeds lengthen. You can do this!!!!

Cannyhandleit · 04/05/2019 21:39

Totally normal and you will adjust to your new routine.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 04/05/2019 21:42

Yes. It gets much easier when the feeds space out. Get your DP to take him after two feeds in a row. So just feed him and hand him over, roll over and go to sleep. Eat loads, drink loads, and lie down as much as possible because your body still needs rest. Your DP needs to hold him while you shower too.

Unescorted · 04/05/2019 21:45

Yep normal - but it does get better. As PP have said get your partner/ friends / family to help - you just need to be there for the feeding bit. I slept through the feeds too when I was really exhausted - just let them latch and back to sleep. So long as there was someone to pop them back to sleep it was ok.

The most important bit was understanding that if I didn't wake up the instant they cried then it was ok - It meant I could go back to sleep and not fret about not hearing them.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/05/2019 21:48

Totally normal OP no one warns us- however that phases passes very quickly. Just feed ya baby, eat and sleep don’t attempt to do anything more- that’s what partners are for, working on not he picks up the slack

Original poster
London2019aa · 04/05/2019 21:51

Thank you all so much for your replies. Today is a bad day I guess. At what stage will he start to feed less like every 3 hours I could do that easily at least I would sleep some what xx

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lookingatthings · 04/05/2019 21:54

Totally normal. Mine fed constantly, and I mean constantly in the first few weeks. Can your DP help you in any way? Mine works shifts so if he's on a late hell help do the night changes, it means I can feed in bed and then go back to sleep while he changes d settles DC. That extra 10mins really does help

Original poster
London2019aa · 04/05/2019 21:56

DH works 12 hours a day so he helps with night feeds a lot but he’s exhausted too. Either way one of us won’t be sleeping at night & one has to go work for 12 hours & one has to look after baby. It’s impossible haha I don’t know how people do this

OP posts:
Unescorted · 04/05/2019 22:00

Get him to take his Paternity leave - 2 weeks of paid leave.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/05/2019 22:08

Actually why isn’t he on paternity leave?
So If bf there is no point your OH being awake at night if they have to go to work- BUT when they get in they from work they cook you dinner or take the baby say from 9-11pm to give you some sleep- in the morning you pass them the baby from 6-7.30: team work.

Original poster
London2019aa · 04/05/2019 22:17

Onlyfoolsmothers
He recently had a promotion & stupidly we decided against pat leave. Silly I know!! He leaves for work at @7am then gets home @9.30 he does look after baby from 10-2am but he only getting 5 hours sleep & working 12 hours. We are both knackered

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