Feeling Judged

[Mumof15MonthOld]

DS has just turned 15 months. Now he’s a toddler he’s in to everything and can be hard to contain. He seems much more active and in to things than other similar aged babies. He won’t yet respond when we say no to something and the only thing that seems to work is distraction or moving him away from whatever he want. Lots of other people expect a lot more of him by I just don’t think he’s there yet.

An example is visiting my parents, he wouldn’t leave their dog alone and so the only answer was to separate them. He couldn’t be persuaded to stay away.

Or at a friend’s house, he doesn’t just sit quietly but is determined to explore and can be very vocal. I do remove him in situations where that isn’t appropriate.

He’s very big for his age and I think sometimes people think he’s older than he is.

Am I being one of those parents who can’t see that their child needs more discipline or is 15 months still too early?

Nope they are daft at this age and just big babies really so no-one should be judging. People do forget the what babies/toddlers are really like IMO.

Not much more you can do than distract/remove.

I think in both those situations, his behaviour sounds entirely normal. It's the grown ups' job to keep that interesting, waggy dog away!

My DD is big for her age and I do find people have different expectations for her.

Removing and distracting seems like the best way to deal with those situations at this age.
The toddler years are really demanding because of this! They want to explore but have no sense at all.

Sounds all completely normal for that age. Don't worry about what other people think you know what's age appropriate so just act on that. In my experience DD wasn't ready for any form of "discipline" until about 2.5

That’s all very reassuring, thank you, and yes it can be really exhausting because I’m constantly chasing him.

We were with a toddler who is 22 months today and he towered above her so I think the size thing plays a big part in how people view him and they do forgot what babies/toddlers are like.

People do forget. Also they can have such different personalities. My DD is 18m and very calm and compliant and shy. I can tell her no and she stops doing something. At a friends house today for an hour, and she sat on my lap or by my chair the whole time. My DS on the other hand was into absolutely everything at that age and a total menace. He was literally never still and had no fear. It was exhausting.

Sounds completely normal to me. They can be bloody hard work can't they? You need the old eyes in the back of your head😩
One of my sons was huge compared to his peers at every stage. And was non stop into everything. Always looked older than he was. So I feel for you. People tended to expect too much of him.
In reception I remember picking him up on the first day and he was nearly a head taller than some of the children.
Now I have a GS just like him and have to tell my DD not to worry as she thinks he's "terrible" but he's really not - he's just a very active, PITA toddler 😁

Sounds normal to me. I completely understand the tall toddler thing.
My toddler is 2 and is the height of a 3.5 year old. People are always expecting more of him, and I always have to remind people of his age. They're still babies.

Keep doing what you're doing x

Totally normal, but do make sure you have clear boundaries and ways to manage situations because from experience, consistency is key. They don’t just grow out of it, you do have to help them learn what’s oksnd what’s not

Agree with PPs - totally normal at this age. We started formally disciplining DD1 when she turned two; before that she was too young. You're doing everything right, please try not to worry.

I read 15 months is a good time to put your toddler into training and I’ve certainly started as hoping to reduce the terrible twos as much as possible. Consistency and repetition has been key for us. I try not to use word know to much. So will say things like come away or climb down from table etc. it appears to be working- he’s deffo getting less rough with dog, has stopped climbing on our coffee table and doesn’t climb on the sofa to pull things of the window anymore. Lots and lots of repetition. He’s still into everything tho!

Thank you all, lots of reassurance here but helpful also to consider where we need to be working on boundaries and consistency too.