Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

School and ss

31 replies

BigRedLondonBus · 03/05/2019 16:23

Today I picked up my son from school and was told to instead go to the office, there I was taken to a room with his teacher and another member of staff. Apparently my son told them I leave my dd (8) at home alone when I drop him to school in the mornings, no idea why he told them this! This has never happened and even if it did it isn’t illegal, but they have called them social services on me over it. I’m thinking this is extremely heavy handed. They didn’t even speak to me first to check. Is this normal procedure for schools? I obviously told them
It didn’t happen (dd has been ill recently so hasn’t been at school) my sister watches her who lives 5 minutes away. Dd was also with me when I went down to the school. I know ss will be visiting now but I just don’t get why they didn’t ask me first.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

octonoughtcake3 · 03/05/2019 16:38

Because the majority of people who abuse their children deny it and it’s not their job to investigate abuse so they have to report it to ss.

Original poster

BigRedLondonBus · 03/05/2019 16:41

Leaving a child home alone is not abuse. It’s not even illegal

OP posts:

LIZS · 03/05/2019 16:45

It could be negligent , or an indication of other issues, even if not technically illegal. Yes normal not to notify you when safeguarding issues are being flagged.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

8 year olds Families General education General parenting

Original poster

BigRedLondonBus · 03/05/2019 16:50

She’s 8 not 2, anyway it doesn’t happen and like I said she was sat with me today. I’m just surprised they wouldn’t have asked me first.

OP posts:

rubyroot · 03/05/2019 18:25

The way you are justifying leaving an 8 year old on their own makes me think you’re guilty as charged. Your 8 year old could have an accident and you wouldn’t be there to help

Britneysfa · 03/05/2019 19:39

Basically safeguarding is about flagging it with social services, and the school would be failing if they didnt.

Doesnt mean ss will do anything about it. Doesnt mean its illegal or cause to remove your kids

It works on a building a picture basis

Say school raises this, and they investigated and it was a much bigger problem when they visited. A tiny (potentially insignificant on its own) concern is raise Or the school raises it, and someone else had also raised something (eg. A neighbour concerned or gp that child isnt gaining weight) they can get a sense

One alert that isnt linked to any further concerns or is unfounded is unlikely to result in kids being removed!

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 03/05/2019 19:48

That's normal practice. The school won't discuss anything that's a safeguarding concern with a parent first, they'll contact the right people and let them know what's been disclosed. It's not their job to investigate.

AuntMarch · 03/05/2019 19:59

If your son has suggested you leave an unwell child home alone, they aren't unreasonable to be concerned for her welfare.
I get the impression on that on Mumsnet you aren't supposed to leave your children unsupervised until they are on GCSE study leave, so you'll get slated for saying they might have overreacted anyway, but really they are just doing their jobs. Don't worry about it, they'll come make sure all is ok, and that will be that.

whitehalleve · 03/05/2019 20:10

It's not heavy handed. They need to report safeguarding concerns.

englishdictionary · 03/05/2019 20:12

Actually I think it is a bit much for the circumstances OP has given. Perhaps the school have other concerns and have reported to SS due to there being more than one 'red flag'

AbbyHammond · 03/05/2019 20:14

Yes, it's heavy handed.

They should speak to you first before making a referral.

ohyesohyessyyesyes · 03/05/2019 20:14

That is bonkers.
I don’t live in the UK but where I live, I honestly don’t know one person who doesn’t leave an 8 year old at home for a few minutes here and there. Nearly all of them walk/cycle/scoot to school on their own too, including through pitch black and snow.
Does she have an additional need?

ohyesohyessyyesyes · 03/05/2019 20:16

I am half expecting you to drip feed that you live on the other side of the country to the school and it’s a 12 hour journey each way...

Brashtweedyimpertinence · 03/05/2019 20:18

They should speak to you first before making a referral.

Bollocks. I'm sure we can all work out why.

OP, chances are that absolutely nothing will happen.

You may be contacted by a SW, but unless you are also beating the shit out of your kids on a regular basis then it's very unlikely to meet their threshold of need. Chill.

modgepodge · 03/05/2019 20:19

Procedure is to refer to SS if they have concerns, not call parents. SS can then decide to do nothing - the fact they are coming to visit means SS agree with school it’s a concern. I’ve called stuff in before and SS have said they won’t come out as it’s not serious enough. School have done nothing wrong here, I know it’s horrid but they have a legal duty to report concerns and if they didn’t people could lose their jobs (and worse, genuine abuse cases could slip through the net).

Try not to worry; you say it’s not true and even if it was this is not, on its own, serious enough for SS to remove children from you for, I don’t think.

AbbyHammond · 03/05/2019 20:20

Unless speaking to the parents would put the child at risk of harm, parents should be informed before a referral is made.

The first thing they will ask is if parents have been spoken to.

Passthecherrycoke · 03/05/2019 20:23

I agree with britneysfa I don’t think this means SS will actually do anything and it’s probably a far more informal conversation than it’s been presented to You.

I do, I have to say, think it’s a bit odd for the school to go straight to SS. For comparison, a friends son was recently over heard telling school friends that daddy punched mummy. The school informed her of the conversation, said they would investigate the situation further and then told her 3 days later they had decided to take no further action as they were confident he’d made it up. Seems very different to what you’ve experienced with a far more minor hypothetical situation

RubberTreePlant · 03/05/2019 20:25

It would seem more sensible to at least put it to you and gauge your reaction before making a referral.

DSis told her nursery workers "I drink whisky with daddy", once. She didn't, obviously. He'd let her try some mixer.

CheesecakeAddict · 03/05/2019 20:25

Schools, along with ss, are often the first people blamed when things go wrong, they have no scope for error. I know someone who had ss involved after he joked at his teenage son's parent's evening that he'll get a slap when he gets home when told he never did homework. Most likely, you'll have an interview with them, you'll explain your side of events, they'll double check school and gp records and you'll never hear from them again

RubberTreePlant · 03/05/2019 20:27

I expect it will all be quickly and easily ironed out OP. If you get a letter, be proactive about phoning them.

OhTheRoses · 03/05/2019 20:31

Heavy handed and bloody ridiculous. Mine were often left at home for 10 mins at 8. We were in mobile to mobile contact, v safe neighbourhood, fab neighbours, knew not to answer the door. V sensible children.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 03/05/2019 20:33

How would that even work, surely your 8 year old goes to school too? Are they at the same school, and she was just off sick?

FamilyOfAliens · 03/05/2019 20:40

The first thing they will ask is if parents have been spoken to.

No, the first thing they ask you is the name and date of birth of the child, and to confirm other details, such as home address, if they have find child’s details already on the system.

They will then ask you what has happened to make you concerned about the child.

Goldmandra · 03/05/2019 20:43

School should have asked you for clarification and taken the response into account when deciding whether to refer to the MASH team.

They should only refer without informing you if leaving it or telling you would put the child at immediate risk of serious harm.

It seems a bit heavy handed. Could it be that they have other concerns?

WindsweptEgret · 03/05/2019 20:49

I consider it fine and perfectly normal to leave an 8 year old without SEN for short periods. Aren't there any guidelines for schools to know what justifies a report to SS?

Flip

1 2