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Coping with a high maintenance toddler !!!!

5 replies

looneyloo88 · 03/05/2019 09:24

My son is 14 months and extremely high maintenance , absolutely NOTHING is good enough for him , he's always been like this !!! Never went in a bouncer , swing , jumperoo, wouldn't touch a walker . He is extremely hard work and wearing me thin🤦‍♀️ I'm bloody exhausted . He shouts and screams and moans at me all day long , I can't take him food shopping , it's awful even going to friends houses . He was breastfed until 10 months ( my hV said could be a reason why he's so clingy ) he won't let anyone near him without screaming the house down !! I just can't make him happy 🤦‍♀️😂 Creche is just a nightmare , he has a fit going . Anyone els have a baby like him ???

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Orchidflower1 · 03/05/2019 09:28

After the initially crying of him being with someone else eg at crèche does he settle then?

Do you have a dp to help you?

Do you have other children? If so how does he react when you’re with them?

Sorry to ask so much but trying to get a clearer picture to maybe offer any advice.

Brew for you anyway.

looneyloo88 · 03/05/2019 10:13

He's not too bad in Creche after I leave but he's awful clingy and a pain when left with any family or friends ( everyone dreads having him , a few friends have offered for when I started work but soon as they have him a couple days they say they can't cope . He gets really jealous with the other boys I have . So I feel I can't even spend time with them 😩

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looneyloo88 · 03/05/2019 10:14

My husband is absolutely amazing , he's got way more patience tbh 😂

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Orchidflower1 · 03/05/2019 11:40

Although it’s important to spend time with your toddler your older chn shouldn’t stop having to have time.

What about a morning out over the bank holiday for you and older child( ren) and leave toddler with dh. That way you get a break and older ones get time with you. Toddler could be picking up on your stress. I know it’s easy to say but mine were like bloodhounds at that age - sensing when I was stressed and seemingly behaving worse!

What’s toddlers understanding like - could you teach s simple sentence so he knows you’re coming back eg bye bye mummy later.

Beaubird83 · 03/05/2019 14:41

My dd2 is an absolute nightmare, clingy as hell and it’s either her way or no way. Around me.
Around her dad she’s the most understanding & patient child ever and I wonder whether she’s the same child!

She picks up on when I’m stressing. So if I’m trying to get dd1 ready for school and they’re being their usual snail paced selves dd2 will cling to my legs as I’m not showing her all of the attention.
If she isn’t happy with someone talking to her (even her own sister) she will bury her head into my legs or lap.

The only thing I’ve found to work, is to be cruel to be kind and leave her with others. Her aunt looks after her a bit, her dad has her when I’m at work (we are together etc so it’s not living in two separate homes), my mum took her to the park earlier on this morning.. just little trips and bits of time away and it’s actually improving her confidence.

It’s very very slowly improving her attitude though, that’s a work in progress. I’m being a lot more stern with her (if she was crying for something I’d just give it her). Now, eg it’s bedtime and she tries to get pens or toys out, I’d used to let her have a little play to save the tantrum but now I’m straight on it saying ‘nope, bed’. She doesn’t like it ofc, but I had to stop it else I’d be walked over all my life!

I think try and find something out of the house that REALLY interests him. Even something messy, like playing with mud at the park or something which other people could take him to as well as you. Dd2 loves to play in the garden with water, cups, stones and mud and gets filthy but she will do that happily here, at nursery, with her Nan etc and it’s like a go to activity that is guaranteed to make her happy.
My mum when she takes her gets overly paranoid about germs, mud, dirty clothes, dirty shoes, but I’ve told her just let her have fun; if she’s happy I’m happy. What washing machines were invented for!

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