I've traumatised my 1 year old

[PowerslidePanda]

We have a problem with ants in our hallway at the moment. We've put out traps, plugged in a sonar repeller and are squishing any we see.

Yesterday, DD (20 months) saw me stomp on one, said "Ant! Sad!" and burst into tears. She obviously doesn't understand death at that age, so I'm not sure what's provoked this reaction. I wondered if she was upset at the idea of ants in the house, but I asked her if she liked ants and she said yes, so it does seem to be my action that prompted her upset

I thought she'd forget about it quickly, but every time she's been in the hallway since, she's said, "Ants!" and gotten tearful. I've apologised for stomping on the ant and told her that I'll move the others outside, where they'll live happily, but it doesn't seem to be consoling her. Any thoughts on how to handle this?

Oh bless you. Probably won't be the only time.ay e you could keep a dustpan and brush in the hallway to deal with them in future...just brush them and put them out. Tell her you were naughty mummy for hurting the ants (ignore the fact the poison will kill them!!) - and move on.

When I was a child I got very mad at my parents for killing bugs and I would call them murderers and have a huge strop whenever they did it. Looking back, I think I had such a large reaction because I was just beginning to learn empathy and wonder how other people/animals were feeling. If it's any comfort, I highly doubt she is traumatized, she is just figuring out some very new feelings

Thank you both! That's a nicer way of looking at it, lovinglovingloving! And the dustpan and brush is a great idea - thanks user1474894224!

Oh, bless her - I know it's upsetting for you but it's also very sweet! Does anyone else look after her as well as you? Just wondering whether nursery or whoever have previously done a 'it's not nice to kill insects' thing and that's really stuck with her.

Makes me think of this gorgeous clip. Some kids just arrive with more compassion than their parents. You should learn from her!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIMJ648qgg

You don't have to lie to her or apologise. You havent done anything wrong. It is ok to kill an insect. Im sure you wouldnt start a charity to rehome nits. Its ok for children to learn the difference between the value of human, animal and insect life. There is a difference.
Just say breezily "its ok, the ants aren't sad. They're just not allowed in the house. Let's go and see some outside. Look, happy ants"

Thanks all - it's obvious that she's my first, isn't it!

Yes, she does attend nursery and may have been taught about being gentle to insects there.

Some good advice that I'll use tomorrow, if needed. She's still saying "Ants..." in a sad voice when she goes to hallway, but no tears today, so that's progress!

No if you had actually traumatised her she would probably have started stomping alongside you. Not that a child has actually done that around me of course