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Original poster

Gift etiquette for a twin birthday party?

20 replies

Willowkoko · 29/04/2019 23:32

Hi, I’m a kiwi who has recently moved to the UK with my British husband. My 4 year old has been invited to her first party here, it’s for twin boy/girl so should I do two presents? DH is telling me that in Britain, girls buy girl twin and boys buy boy twin? If it’s the same sex they just share? My DD loves playing with boys and only ever mentions boy names when she’s talking about school, so she may prefer to get the boy a present.

I imagine I’ll just buy both to ensure I don’t make a bad first impression but genuinely curious on what’s the norm as I am expecting twins myself.

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Pitapotamus · 29/04/2019 23:34

I would buy both kids a gift just as you would if you were going to a joint birthday party of two unrelated classmates who happened to have birthdays at a similar time.

KittiKat · 29/04/2019 23:35

Sorry, never heard of the "girl buys girl" etc. You should buy presents for both of them. The parents will realise that this means double for everyone and will not (should not) expect extravagant presents each but a considered present within your own personal pocket.

Mummyamy123 · 29/04/2019 23:35

I would buy for both......

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Chocmallows · 29/04/2019 23:35

I would ask the mum if they are keen on anything - e.g. board game or Lego set. Easier if it's a nice gift that they both like.

VeganSteve · 29/04/2019 23:36

Yes, individual presents but wouldn’t go extravagant

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 29/04/2019 23:38

I’m a twin- please get two presents like you would if you were attending any other kind of joint party.

I remember getting “joint” presents and although now as an adult I know to be grateful for the thought, as a seven year old it’s hard not to be pissed off that Claire’s mum doesn’t understand that only one kid can play with a Polly Pocket at a time.

Chilledout11 · 29/04/2019 23:42

I would get a junior Lego set each

Corcra · 29/04/2019 23:42

My dds best friends are twins. She gives them a birthday card each and a little gift each.
I think it makes sense.

mysteryfairy · 29/04/2019 23:53

Did the invitation come from both of them? If so buy for both.

My DNeice and nephew are twins and went from joint party with joint invitees -> joint party each with their own invitees -> separate parties as they got gradually older. Once they’d got past the first stage they received presents from their own friends but would have thought it very weird if they got gender segregated gifts at age 4.

GreenTulips · 29/04/2019 23:55

I have twins
They each invited their own friends - gifts were brought from their own friends

I have never been so rude as to address the invite from both and expect two gifts for one party

They generally had separate parties (plus family tea)

Taytotots · 30/04/2019 00:08

I've never heard the boy buys boy thing! I have twins and would suggest if invite it from one only just buy for that one, if from both two small gifts. I've actually asked for no gifts the last two birthday parties as wanted to avoid people feeling they had to buy two presents (and also being overrun with stuff). Mine are young so still at the class party stage. However most children brought them a card each which they enjoyed.

Scanon · 30/04/2019 00:10

I have twins and i'd say get them each something (inexpensive!)

SpoonBlender · 30/04/2019 00:13

I knew three sets of twins growing up - two pairs identical girls, a pair of nonidentical boys. They all got a present each, every time. Your DH must have known an odd family!

LadyMinerva · 30/04/2019 00:34

2 individual people = 2 individual gifts.

I'm not a twin but I was born close to Christmas and have had the joint birthday / Christmas gift or card thing my entire life. It's a similar situation and it sucks.

Sounds like your DH is just trying to save money!

ittakes2 · 30/04/2019 04:19

I have boy/girl twins and live in the UK - surprisingly no one has ever bought them a joint present. I wouldn't have minded - to me it makes sense to buy a board game or something they could both share.
When they were 5 - I had two class parties and had on the invites you are invited to Twin 1 and Twin 2's party...the whole present thing never occurred to me...2 parties each with 29 children as guests...116 presents...(58 presents for each twin). I was gobsmacked....every single parent had sent in two presents with their child - the presents were piled up in the corner and I will never forget it. My children stopped asking to open presents about number 60!
From then on for future parties I would send invites to the parties but made sure I only had one name on the invite.
To be honest, at the age of 4 - they dont' care so much about the presents but the act of unopening them so yes I would get two small presents each.

ittakes2 · 30/04/2019 04:27

I think to be fair with your husband - I did get to a point where any party invites for boys were sent under my son's name (to avoid 2 presents) and any party invites for my daughter were sent under her name - but that was because my son only wanted to invite boys and my daughter only wanted to invite girls. We just sent the invites in this way even for a joint party so people did not feel they needed to buy two presents.

Teddybear45 · 30/04/2019 22:40

You could get a joint present. Something they could play with together.

Tobebythesea · 04/05/2019 20:51

2 separate individuals = 2 presents.

EvilDog · 04/05/2019 20:55

Birthday card for each twin with £5 in

dementedpixie · 04/05/2019 20:59

Who is your child friends with? Was the invitation from 1 child or both? I don't think you need to buy for both unless the invitation was from both children

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