Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Family days out becoming a nightmare

16 replies

Elliesmommy · 28/04/2019 19:25

Hi this is my first post. Bit of background- myself and dh are married 4 years in July. We have 2 children ds is 3 dd is 20mths. We are due number 3 in August. My husband works hard both in his full time job and farming while I do all the work with kids and home. We like to have Sundays together but I've noticed recently neither myself or my husband are enjoying them. Today we went to the beach - both dc starting acting crazy after 5 mins so we left to go home. Maybe this is normal , maybe we are over worked and stressed , maybe I'm emotional as I'm heavily pregnant. Just hoping someone can give advice before I give up on our family day altogether. Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PotteringAlong · 28/04/2019 19:27

Crazy how?

needsahouseboy · 28/04/2019 19:29

Lower your expectations, it’s bloody hard going anywhere with kids. When they are as young as yours it’s even worse.

bigchris · 28/04/2019 19:29

It's hard work op

With 3 in the future your dh will hopefully take the older 2 out alone to give you time to sleep or just rest with the baby

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds 3rd trimester Families General parenting

Samind · 28/04/2019 19:30

Why don't you take turns so one of you is getting a break at a time? As in one takes babies out whilst other relaxes then the other person takes over. Then alternate it.

ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles · 28/04/2019 19:31

Distraction is one of the best tools for kids that age when they start acting out. Well, I found anyway.

Original poster

Elliesmommy · 28/04/2019 19:35

Sorry crazy as in tantrums , one wanted to run one way and one the other way. I do get they are small but thought a walk on the beach would be relatively stress free. Do people have "family " day . Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on all of us trying to get out for quality time. Maybe more beneficial to give each parent a day off ,

OP posts:

ViolentGin · 28/04/2019 19:38

What sort of activities do you do with the kids during the week? If you're relatively busy, it might be that everyone could benefit from that one day a week with all of you there just being at home.

Youngandfree · 28/04/2019 19:40

I hear you OP I can’t do anything at the moment with my 3 yr old....he is driving me INSANE!! I could cry daily over his behaviour, 😭😭

Original poster

Elliesmommy · 28/04/2019 19:42

We go to mother toddler. We walk most days or go the playground . I call to friends who have children same age. Maybe I'm out too much during the week?

OP posts:

Florencenotflo · 28/04/2019 19:48

Our family days always end up going to shit! Whenever we think we'll do something nice for Dd, a day out somewhere we think she'd like we all end up stressed and fed up because of her tantrums.

We've sort of decided that we put too much pressure on ourselves to go and have a nice time. Where sometimes, Dd is happy just playing in the garden with the two of us or going for a walk to the park with the two of us.

In the last year we've done Chessington, a day out to Southend and a local zoo, all of which end up with dd having a tantrum (usually because we've said no to something, an expensive toy in the gift shop, not letting her run really far ahead on the pier etc).

I don't know that I have any constructive advice but you're not alone. We also lower our standards of behaviour slightly on days out, pre empt situations which are going to cause tantrums. Make sure you have food, drinks, a jumper, a spare dummy.

And once you've had the baby... wine!!

Florencenotflo · 28/04/2019 19:51

And don't compare your kids to others! DH used to say sometimes... look, that kid isn't kicking off. But i explained to him, no, not right now. Give it 30 mins I'm sure that impeccably behaved child will whine or whinge about something.

Someone complimented us one evening on how good our Dd was sat nicely eating her dinner on holiday once. It felt like it was the first time that Day she wasn't moaning or crying about something, I could have cried myself.

ViolentGin · 28/04/2019 20:10

OP I find that after a week of toddler groups and outings etc, my 2yo just needs to spend some time at home playing with his toys at the weekend. I "set up" the night before - maybe get some paint supplies out, make some playdoh, set up his happyland toys into a little village, things like that. We will maybe go for a little walk to the park just after lunch to get some fresh air but he loves his days at home.

Maybe plan a monthly day out, then one Sunday a month you have a day "off", another your husband can have a day "off", and the fourth Sunday you can all just potter about at home together.

multiplemum3 · 28/04/2019 20:21

The last time we tried for a nice day out we left the farm after half an hour cus fuck having twins out in public who were taking turns tantrumming. I didn't even get to bottle feed the baby lambs, absolutely devestated lol. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Butterymuffin · 28/04/2019 20:32

Is there a soft play near you? I spent most Sunday mornings at them when I had DC that age. Then it's fine for them to run around and one of you can keep an eye out while having a coffee.

Original poster

Elliesmommy · 28/04/2019 22:39

Thank you all so much. Feeling a bit better it's not just us. Think a relaxing Sunday might be best for us next week !

OP posts:

Daphnesmate · 29/04/2019 14:48

No it isn't just you Elliesmommy. I have an infant school age child a one year old and an older child and honestly the thought of taking the two youngest out anywhere other than the park on my own, fills me with horror. Sometimes, I do feel very restricted as I watch friends with older children doing so much more but I am where I am and have had to lower my expectations a lot. My middle dc has had quite challenging behavioural issues which are still a bit ongoing but thought to be primarily age related this has made going anywhere difficult too up until recently. It is easy to think that everyone else has children who behave but quite often I hear children tantruming etc. and it is very sad but it makes me feel a lot better, like it isn't just me. It is really important to grab a bit of 'me' time if you can - when my little one naps I always do something, I couldn't otherwise do if she was awake that doesn't involve housework!

Flip