Dummy gone, mummy demented!

[unorganisedmumoftwo]

Wondering if anyone can offer any advice....the Easter bunny took ds dummy (he's 28 months) so thought it was a good time to get rid.

Since then we've had tears and screaming before finally settling at night, completely expected this. However and this is my biggest issue, my laid back, loving little boy has literally turned into a brat over night.

He's screaming and kicking if I ask him to do anything, he cries if I leave the room and is constantly asking for food (guessing this is a replacement for dummy) but I'm at my wits end 😩

Please does anyone have any ideas how I can help ease his torment? Can I replace with something else? Should I just ride it out and hope his lovely nature comes back? Help?!

Did you cut back on use or go cold turkey?

We did this with my DS - he was a bit older though. It's still early days so I would hang in there OP - good luck!

We went cold turkey. He had it for bed times, in the car and wind down time of an evening/morning. He never had it in public/nursery etc.

We've just abandoned a shopping trip because of a major meltdown....the worst he's ever done before is say no, cross his arms and then follow me round.

Buy another one

Not worth the hassle

So he obviously loved his dummy - and it did it's job, it gave your ds happiness!! Now you are the bad guy.
Shame on you!!
My ds happily binned his at 3. No dm hatred, no loss of sleep.
Happy dm, happy ds.

Sculpin - he's just so sad, when was the turning point?

Give it back for bedtimes. He's not ready to have it suddenly taken away judging by the reaction. It obviously gave him comfort so,until you've worked on a replacement comfort object (eg favourite toy) I'd just go with the dummy. Then try the gradual approach when he understands bribery a bit better!

Don’t give it back! It will just reinforce that bad behaviour will get what he wants and then you’ve set yourself up for tantrums over everything.

Stick it out for a couple of weeks, keep explaining about the Easter bunny needing the dummies etc and it will get through.

I took the dummy away from DS1 on his 3rd birthday. We had a big build up to the event. We talked about how he's a big kid now, how the fairies come and take the dummies away from big kids and give them to the small babies that need them, etc. It was fine. He was mature enough to handle it by then. At just over 2? It would've been a fucking nightmare to remove them. It's up to you whether you want to persevere or try again when he's a bit older.

Would you bin his fav toy? His bedtime comfort? I asked my ds a few times over months if he was ready to bin it and he said no. One day he said yes and he did. Why is it a big deal to get rid? Start new routine, dummy left at home for example, or in the car, bed only. Too young to grasp why it's gone ime.
Few of my dc were well past 3 but have perfect teeth + speech still as adults now.

He's too little that's why. Give him it back and try when he's older

I would give him it back for sleep times. It gives him comfort. 28 months is still very young to understand why it is being taken.

We told him in the weeks leading up to it, he seemed to understand. He still has his muslin, again that doesn't leave the house/car. He's just so sad.

I agree if I give it back it re-in-forces the bad behaviour.

Just wondered if anyone had any tips/ideas to get through this rough phase x

It’s not ‘bad’ behaviour if he is just reacting to something he loves being taken away before he was ready. Bless him.

It's upsetting him why would you do that to reinforce he is naughty for being upset?

Dc4 is 30 months, and we are reducing time with dummy. None of my others have had one past two but he is especially attached and definitely not suited to cold turkey!

He isn't behaving badly- he's shocked and upset. At 28 months he's a baby and he couldn't understand what you were telling him. That was too abstract for him at this age.
Why are you surprised that he's so sad?
Give him his dummy back.

Maybe you're right! Maybe I've made a huge mistake....but surely giving it back would confuse him further?!

We did the same with my older child and she didn't bat an eyelid after 2 days of telling her the Easter bunny had them.

We did the same thing last Wednesday.

It took 4 bedtimes for the real upset to stop.

We also have the brat behaviour. For us it was because she was demanding the dummy all day long and it was keeping her quiet.

We saw the dentist and the dummy was affecting her teeth (25 months old) so it had to go.

I wouldn't give it back either. I binned all the dummies so I wasn't tempted. In a week or so he won't remember having it and will move on.

It's hard. But I've just spent three months getting our 7 year old to stop sucking her thumb, the dummy is 10000 easier at this age!

Good luck!

We did cold turkey. It just takes time. The key is not to give in. They soon get over it.

Give the kid back his dummy. Try again when he's a bit older, he's obviously not ready at the moment

@Abouttime1978 thank you! Xx

OP, we did exactly the same- the Easter bunny took my DS’s dummy to give to the babies. He must have been just 2, and he was so miserable (I don’t remember naughty, just really sad) that in the end, we said the babies had sent them back because they realised he was sad without them. Finally, Santa took them (in exchange for a toy) when he was over 3. I don’t think you’d be wrong to give it back and try again later.

When we took away ours the dummy fairy gave each DC a present in return. It might not be too late to add "What I didn't tell you is that a week later, the Easter bunny brings you a present in exchange for the dummy - what would you like?" Our children put a lot of thought into the present - DS asked for some Lego, DD asked for a kitchen, and each time they got upset we reminded them of what they'd got in return and they were fine again. They're now 8 and 6 (they were each 3) and still have their dummy fairy presents and still remember it.

My DS is also 28 months and was very attached to his dummy. We starting cutting back months ago so he now only has it in his cot at night for sleeping. He has accepted this but I won’t be taking it away any time soon as he likes it to soothe to sleep.

Could you let him have a new dummy but it be a special one that must only stay in his bed/cot?