Birthday party ettiquette

[LucyOCS]

DD is going to be 4 in June and I am planning her birthday party. This is the first year that we are not just doing an informal party at home, and we’re booking a venue and entertainer and inviting lots of children. DD has to date only really been invited to more informal parties, and the two more formal affairs recently we were a bit late to as she had a gymnastics class just before she didn’t want to miss.

So her informal parties and the others we’ve been to have been afternoon long affairs with her NCT group who are all spring / summer babies so they’ve been garden parties where people have turned up at various points within an hour of the start, but no one bang on time, a bit like how you wouldn’t turn up early or bang on time for an adult’s dinner party.

So for DD’s party this year, should I expect all the guests to turn up at or before the time stated on the invite or a few minutes after (or more than a few minutes after)? I’m wondering whether to book the entertainer to start at the party start time or to start 15 or 30 minutes after the start? We also have a whole string of parties coming up in May before DD’s so I’m wondering when we should aim to arrive for those?

A fair number of the guests will be late. I would get the entertainer to start at least 15 minutes late.

We aim to turn up to parties for DD's friends 5-10 minutes after the start time. (DD is 6.) The exception was an activity party where it was a very fixed length of time, and it was important everyone was there for a safety briefing. We were on time for that one.

I would - and always have - turned up at the time invited. IME, parties last an hour and a half or 2 hours if the host is overly keen, and you arrive at the start and leave at the end.
However, I would leave 15mins for arriving / handing over gifts / getting phone numbers of any parents that are leaving / before expecting any entertainer to start.

At this age, parties tend to be about 2 hours, maybe 3. Most people will arrive in the first 30 minutes. I'd maybe book the entertainer for 45 minutes after start time to be followed by food/cake and then more time to play before they go home. She's probably too little still for parents to drop and run, but when you get to that age (usually in reception), parents are much more timely because they want as much child-free time as possible before pick up.

Most invites we have received state. X is invited to Y's birthday party at venue from 2pm-4pm on date. *£5 party is written on top of invite. Please RSVP tel no. by X date.

*There is a local arrangement that each DC gives £5 as present in the card.

Unbelievable that you write £5 party on the invite! Like an entrance fee! How ghastly.

Most entertainers have a plan for this - they often spend the first 15 minutes or so doing something like balloon modelling or showing a prop or something until the majority of hte kids have got there. Ask them, the'll have routine.

AT that age I'd expect a few to dip in and out, run back to a parent etc, so don't be too set on timings anyway.

We went to a four year olds party last year and the mum popped on the invite "magician will start at X time". Made it clear not to be late in a practical way. You could try something like that perhaps?

Thank you everyone for your replies. We’re only paying for an entertainer for an hour (they cost a fortune!) so want to make sure most of his act isn’t missed. We’ll start him 15 minutes into the party I think. That then gives time for lunch after and then for children to play on the bouncy castle after that. X