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Parenting

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Original poster

Dilemma - nursery near work or home?

33 replies

chargedproton · 23/04/2019 12:32

I work about 45 minutes - 1 hour away from home.

I am due back at work in September and need to get a move on with finding a nursery. I started looking in January but mother in law died so everything just want in a standstill.

I want to do long hours. 8am-5:15pm 3 days a week so I can earn as much as I can.

However this doesn’t give me many options for nurseries near my home as most open 7:30 - 8am and close at 6pm.

There is quite a few near my work that have good reputations etc whereas not many where I live do.

But do you think it’s better for my child to be one near my home? I could change my hours to fit around this if I must. There isn’t many good ones near where I live though.

Will it effect him? The travelling?

We eventually want to move house in two years to a different town, so may well move near my workplace or move somewhere and he needs to come out of nursery and I’ll have to put him in one near our house (I’ll make sure there’s a good nursery and schools nearby next time we buy a house!).

What do you think?

When he can start walking, I will probably give him to my parents 1 day a week.

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CottonSock · 23/04/2019 12:34

I prefer near home as I can sometimes work from home. Also my kids can go if I am off sick, or need to / want to have a day off to do jobs etc.

Bobbindobbin · 23/04/2019 12:35

Definitely near work for when you get the “he’s poorly” “he’s banged his head”
Situations

Gizlotsmum · 23/04/2019 12:36

I used one near work. It worked better for me and meant if dd was poorly I could get to her quickly.

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TigerQuoll · 23/04/2019 12:38

See if your parents can pick him up from daycare and look after him for an hour or so each day. If it is near home that gives you the opportunity to work from home sometimes and have it not be really far away to drop him off.

mindutopia · 23/04/2019 12:40

I wouldn’t want my dc spending that long in the car everyday. It’s just too much. Plus the likelihood of an hour nap at 5/6pm would mean nighttime would be a nightmare.

I work 3 hours from home 3 days a week. My dc have always gone to a nursery just down the road from home. My dh does the school run on the days I’m in the office. I do it the days I work from home.

JaneEyreAgain · 23/04/2019 12:45

If you are cutting your hours to 3 days a week, can your partner flex his days and do nursery drop off and pick up on those days. If you both share the load of childcare, overall it is likely to have less of a impact on the overall family income in the long term.

It is better for your child not to have to spend an hour in the car to and from nursery and also better for you to be able to be fully present on those three days and not on call / watching the clock.

Original poster

chargedproton · 23/04/2019 12:49

Working from home isn’t an option for me ever, I work in a Laboratory

My parents live 10 minutes away from my work.
If I’m ever ill, they can come to me or I can drive to them and recoup there if need be.

OP posts:

Original poster

chargedproton · 23/04/2019 12:51

My husband works an hour the other in opposite direction and he’s self employed so no flexibility in terms of when he can work unfortunately

OP posts:

welshweasel · 23/04/2019 12:52

No way would I want to do that commute with a small child. Bedtime will be horrific!

RomaineCalm · 23/04/2019 12:54

Not sure there is an easy answer.

With an hour to drive back to nursery it's really tight to have a nursery close to home. If you are caught in traffic or leave 10mins late you are likely to be miss the 6pm deadline and, understandably, nurseries don't tend to be very happy when it becomes a regular occurrence.

Equally it doesn't sound ideal having to get DC into the car for 6:45am and then, as another PP said, having them napping for an hour at 5:30pm.

Try doing a pretend 'nursery run' at working times and see how it goes?

DH used to try do the drop off or pick off three days a week - one of us started work early to be able to finish at 4:30 and get to nursery whilst the other did the drop off but worked later.

Disfordarkchocolate · 23/04/2019 12:55

Nursery near work can be useful for having time to chat with the child(ren) on the way to nursery and back. It also means you can get to nursery quickly if they are ill. And, if you leave work late you aren't worried about picking them up on time.

Chilledout11 · 23/04/2019 12:57

I used a minder near work for the first two years. It worked really well. I think you haven't many options with the early start. The fact your parents are near your work swings it for me.

Littlebird88 · 23/04/2019 12:58

if say home one as you don't want a baby toddler sleeping in the car on the way home in the evening

flitwit99 · 23/04/2019 13:00

I would go for near work for now. It gives you more flexibility.
This is probably a silly suggestion but on the days you work could you collect him at 6, give him a quick tea at your parents, put him in his pjs, let him fall asleep in the car then put him straight in bed when you get home? It's not ideal if you're big into routine, but kids are flexible. Or could he stay over at your folks once a week if they are near work and nursery?

bubbaba · 23/04/2019 13:00

I'm in the same boat.... not many childcare options near home as very rural but no family near Work 90 mins away if I have to work late which I often do without notice. It's a minefield knowing what to do!

Wavingwhiledrowning · 23/04/2019 13:01

I have a similar commute, and we've always used a nursery right next door to work. Ideal when they're poorly etc. They often nodded off on the way home, but to be honest, after a busy day at nursery (often with only a short nap), it didn't seem to do them any harm.

Two of our DCs now go to school near where we live and the end of work commute to get to them on time is often ridiculously stressful (we have no family etc near that could help regularly). If I had the same issue with a young baby I'd be a wreck!

The only time it was a pain was if I wasn't going to work (e.g. If I was ill) but I still wanted them to go to nursery. That only ever happened a couple of times though, so wasn't a deal breaker.

Connieston · 23/04/2019 13:07

Home defo even if you have to change hours. 45 mins in a car at would send them off for a lovely nap just before bedtime and it's a long way for an infant or toddler.

wonkylegs · 23/04/2019 13:13

I had no choice but to go for a nursery near my work for DS1 - I worked 8.30-5.30 and with traffic I wouldn't have made it back for any of the nurseries near home as the latest they opened was 6
It worked well, was a little inconvenient when DH had to take him if I was on a trip but as I did the majority of the trips wasn't a massive issue. We got into a bit of a routine with our trips across the city and listening to local radio - he's still a massive fan and he's now nearly 11
We have since moved and DS2 goes to nursery near DS1s school in the closest town as it works with the school run in the morning - I work from home and there isn't a nursery in the village so wherever we chose I had to drive to it.

JaneEyreAgain · 23/04/2019 13:15

'Husband is self employed do so no flexibility'.

There are always options and choices. Of course you have chosen to take the maternity leave hit to your career, and are now taking the part time hit, if you also take the nursery drop off and pick up and are the only one able to pick up if your child is ill at nursery if you choose the option close to your work, your career will suffer even more than it already does due to the fact that you are a woman. Your choice but don't discount the options and choices open to your husband. And if it's a family choice, make dam sure that he knows he can only continue his 'my career is important and has no room for flexibility in it' due to the fact that you are throwing your career under a bus.

wonkylegs · 23/04/2019 13:15

Kids are amazingly adaptable and I'm sure whatever you choose will work out fine.

Ariela · 23/04/2019 13:45

@flitwick99's suggestion:
Tea at parents, pjs and let him nod off to sleep in the car, if it'd work.

PCBananaHammock · 23/04/2019 13:50

No way would I want to do that commute with a small child. Bedtime will be horrific!

I did it for over a year from my son being 11 months to just turned two. I worked around an hour away from home and needed a nursery near work for all the reasons OP described above. I can honestly say that he fell asleep in the car only around ten times that whole time. We rarely had bedtime issues. Maybe I was just lucky? However, he is now a really good traveller and long journeys to visit my parents 300 miles away are a breeze and I've put it down to those commutes every day for over a year.

Solasum · 23/04/2019 13:52

If your parents are likely to help out,better to start ASAP as it is actually easier when the child isn’t yet mobile

WhenZogateSuperworm · 23/04/2019 13:55

We had a similar dilemma. Me and DH work an hour from home in opposite directions. We went for a childminder near my work. I felt better having him closer to me and my parents both work that way too so can do emergency drop offs and pick ups.

BackforGood · 24/04/2019 00:02

How does your dh being self employed, equate to him having no flexibility ? Surely that gives him more flexibility ?

I would press for one of you dropping off and starting after that then staying a bit later at work, and the other starting work earlier and then making sure they get away on time to collect.
Or can either / both of you do some "writing up" / data collecting / report writing / checking e-mails part of your job in the evening at home for an hour ?

I wouldn't have wanted to take any of mine on an hour's commute - especially as others have said, at the end of the day. PCBananaHammock's dc is very much the exception in not falling asleep in a car at that age and that time of day.

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