Exclusively breastfeeding dc 2 with toddler?

[Lizbiz89]

My dh is due to go back to work next week and I'm extremely anxious about exclusively breastfeeding my second child. I have a 2 year old toddler and she is all go! She literally doesn't stop. So it's making me worry how I'm going to breastfeed dc2 as he's still at the point where he likes a long feed on the boob. Please can you share your experiences with breastfeeding dc2. Did you end up combined feeding? At the moment that's the only way I can see continuing breastfeeding.

We did CBeebies and films and I learnt to feed and walk/stand at the same time. None of that staring into your newborn eyes with DC2!

No advice but also interested in replies. DS is only 11 weeks and not considering number 2 quite yet but I’ve often found myself wondering how the hell I’d breastfeed with a lively toddler too!

Honestly, you rely on CBeebies a bit more than usual and you learn to breastfeed while sitting on the floor playing, walking around the garden, or with a wriggly toddler jumping around next to you! I have 2 years between DC1 & 2 and then 2 years between DC3 & 4, all exclusively breastfed, so it's doable, you just can't relax and spend hours feeding and watching boxsets like you can with your first.

I EBF number 2 (number 1 was 20 months when she was born), and she was constantly attached to the boob! It was tough but we muddled through. Everyone said things like ‘put number one in front of CBeebies while you feed’ but she had no interest in TV whatsoever! I just kept her as contained as possible with her toys and did things like read her books/play duplo one handed etc while feeding.
Now feeding number 3 and 1 & 2 are 3 and 5. Much easier this time as they can amuse themselves for longer.

I planned places the toddler would be contained and amused while out so I could feed ds2. Also relied heavily on cbeebies, bribery and learning to feed one handed while chasing ds1 across the park. Some times the baby has to wait, other times ds does. I found recently ds will happily sit in the buggy at bus stops and traffic watch while I feed which gives us pitstops to/from activities if needed.

(There is 18 months between them and ds2 is 13 weeks)

I'm in a similar situation (but DD is 3 and still nursing occasionally). Something that's helping me is using a sling to take a bit of the baby's weight so I can feed and walk more easily. I use a ring sling and it just takes enough of the load to help.

It is harder but not impossible as plenty of women have managed it.

I tried to Bf DD3 with 2.3yr old and doing school runs and it just wasn't possible. I couldn't fit everything in. HV said ff mum's faced the same logistical challenges but I disagree. Cluster feeding at school run time wasn't an issue for example. Neither was cluster feeding at toddlers nap time with screaming baby and screaming toddler. I needed to build my waning supply - HV suggested taking to bed and doing skin to skin but wasn't able to advise what I should do about looking after my other children.

I ended up combi feeding and 6 months in I've made peace with it. She gets a breastfeed before each bottle and I also add an ounce of expressed milk to each bottle of formula. In itself it's hard going but it's worth it.

What I found helped distract toddler when feeding were movies, books, puzzles, playdough, colouring and mostly setting up a different activity for the next day to keep her occupied. I also had an emergency tray of macaroni, pasta, lentils, rice, pots and spoons etc that I could grab in an emergency.

Just remember you can only do what you can do. No one is judging you. Just do your best. You will get into your stride, whatever that may be.

Thanks for all of the replies. Sounds like it is doable but hard work. Only issue with tv for toddler is she barely sits down to watch anything. Think I'll give it a real bash next week and see how I get on. It's all a learning curve I guess. Oh I do miss the box set days with dc1!!

Tbh you just get through however you can. TV, snacks, feeding in the sling/walking around holding DC2. Even if she doesn't watch TV, she might potter whilst it's on. The older one just has to adapt to the new way unfortunately.

I had a 21mo gap and found the easiest way was to be out as many mornings as possible. DD was entertained and DS seemed to feed less.

If your oldest still naps, make that naptime for everybody. Take the baby into your bed and feed lying down so you're resting if not sleeping.

It'll soon get easier! Although then the youngest starts moving too...

I fed both. I still do! I imagine that making up bottles would be more work.

Sometimes, the most amazing thing happened and they’d both fall asleep whilst feeding so I could watch tv. Never start a feed with a full bladder, no drink or the remote out of reach just in case this happens!

My DS was 2 and a half when DD was born, and I don't think it occurred to me to worry about this (was probably too tired to think about anything...). Try not to worry, and just get on with it.

You can read to your toddler, chat, play a little with one hand etc. whilst you're feeding. Make sure the toddler is safe and you can see him (for example, shut him in the room with you), set up an activity and let him get on with it whilst you feed. Your new baby will get used to being bounced on and near whilst they feed.Your toddler will get used to you being otherwise engaged. And if your toddler urgently needs you then you can just pop baby down for a moment.

My DD is a little older at 3 when DS arrived. Best tactic was new high value (to her, actually a job lot off ebay) for during feeds "from" baby brother. Letting loose with stickers also good - peel the surrounds off so easy to get off.

The biggest thing to accept is that sometimes baby will have to wait, sometimes toddler will have to wait. They will both survive! Baby will also learn to feed efficiently! My general priority decision process was risk to life and limb, risk to property (potty trained toddler needs the toilet, baby will have to wait), then baby angst.

Other thoughts - baby is relatively easy because you have done it before, toddler is new territory so feels more difficult to deal with.

Don't get me wrong it's hard work to juggle and nap when baby naps is even more bollocks than it was with one.

Sometimes baby will have to do nursery run with a dirty nappy because they poo half way there. They will survive!