Unreasonable ex. Unreasonable requests. *Sighs*

[Kiki92]

Okay, so I live in a village on the outskirts of a town. I've been renovating my house since moving in and I'm so bloody chuffed with it. It's PERFECT for my DS (13 months) and I.

My ex however, lives a good 40-minute drive away. He doesn't drive, though there's a good public transport route to the village which he refuses to use. As such, when he wants to see our DS I drive to him, his parent's house, or I meet him somewhere. This was all good, until now...

He's suddenly started demanding that I move closer to him so that he can have access to our son more often, (he see's him 2/3 times a week currently). He's also got his family to start mentioning it to me. His father has even started linking me to property sites online. It's become a daily drama, and it doesn't seem to matter how often I say no.

"Our son needs to live closer to his DS".
"We need to live closer to our grandson."
"I want our grandson to be able to walk to our house."
"Your home is impractical."
"I'm sure you moved there to be deliberately awkward."

I've had enough.

I live in the area I do because I wanted to be close to MY family, and as a single parent I need that. Apparently this is unreasonable. Apparently I ought to be equally as close to BOTH sides of our DS's family. (?!?)

Anyone else had unreasonable requests thrust upon them from ex's/ex in-laws? I'm unsure on how to handle this. I'm about to implode with frustration and annoyance.

‘No, that’s not going to happen.’

That should do it.

Tell them if they mention it again you’ll stop doing the driving. Then follow through.

40 minutes is nothing; how ridiculous. Why doesn’t he move closer?

Suggest your ex learns to drive?

Your child is your priority. Being able to meet his needs. Not their wants.

Keep reminding yourself that you’re in charge here.

And tell your XP that he is free to move closer if he so chooses but you won’t be moving again (although it sounds like he is a just the right distance away!)

Tell him to get the bus. Block the others.

You state that you will NOT be moving....EVER, if they want to be closer they can MOVE!

If your ex wants easier travel/access to his DS he could always get of his ass and learn to drive.

If they didn’t stop harassing me about the move I’d cut down visits drastically.

It is NOT your responsibility to organise travel so that they get to see your DS, it is up to them to make their own travel arrangements to see DS if they want to spend time with him.

"No I will not move do not mention this again . If you keep sending me links to property sites, I will block you. "
And tell him to use the bus. If you are taking d's to see his dad w or 3 times a week you are doing a lot of chauffeuring for the ex.
They are bullies

Tell them if they mention it again you’ll stop doing the driving. Then follow through.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“I will not be moving and this is not open for discussion.
If you want to live closer to your son/grandson maybe you should consider moving house, because I definitely won’t be.
I am doing you a favour by driving DS to you to facilitate contact but if this is mentioned again I will no longer be doing you this favour and you will have to start organising your own transportation for contact.”

Agree - one warning; if they flout it then follow through. "One more request like this and I will no longer be driving DC to see their father".

And really really stick to it.

Yes tell them to get their precious son to learn to sodding drive!!

Sit them down, have the discussion. "I've put a lot of work into this house, it is close to my family who are able to support me and meets mine and DC's needs. I'm sure you agree, DC's needs are the priority. Therefore I would appreciate if you could stop linking me to property sites/going on about it because it isn't going to happen and I feel it is now becoming damaging to our relationship." If it is mentioned again in conversation you simply can say, "Already discussed it. No." If in a text/message a simple "No." if tagged on social media a comment of "Sorry I think you've tagged me in this by mistake. As we discussed on X date I'm very happy with my home." They'll either get the message or you will have to go down the blocking route

'Thanks for the information on property in your area. I will not be moving. If ex is finding the distance too much, then I suggest he learns to drive. Please stop suggesting I uproot my life, where DS & I are happy'

No. Just no! You're not moving,! Currently you do the 40 minute drive three times a week just so he can see DS? He's very lucky. How long is this going on for? He needs to learn to drive - problem solved!

....he’s got no incentive to learn to drive if you are doing all the running around. Offer to meet half way at a neutral location - a cafe for example, then you drive home and let him find his own way back. Stop being nice!

Email them, state that you moved to be closer to your family, you facilitate contact with ex and are happy to drive for contact that is already in place, any extra contact is for ex to sort out by either learning to drive or using the very good bus service. As per house, you will not be moving and if any mention of selling comes up again then you will block them and it will be up to there son to make sure that your ds spends time with his dads grandparents on his contact time end off.

They stop or you stop visiting.

Btw, is he paying maintenance? Is there a reason he can't move if he is so bothered?