Hi, I'm hoping that this community could share your own experiences if you've been in a similar situation. Really looking for some advice. Sorry for the long post!
My partner and I met in the Midlands where we're from, but shortly after meeting he took a job in Manchester. I moved up there a few months later to be with him in 2016, and shortly after this, fell pregnant.
My first baby is now nearly 2 and I'm pregnant again.
A couple of months ago I chose to move back to the Midlands to be near my parents, who are incredibly hands on grandparents and so helpful and amazing support. Baby 1 adores them. However I have moved without partner, as he has a great job which if he left to move with me, he would have to build his database of clients again, take a pay cut, and his job is quite specialist so there are no current opportunities for him anyway that he can see in the Midlands.
I currently live with my parents while we were waiting for my hoise to sell, for a deposit to buy. Now I am so so torn as to where to live.
When in Manchester my partner worked most weekends so unless my parents were up visiting or vice versa, I would spend weekends mostly alone. I made some wonderful Mum friends, who I adore and would see once or twice a month but at weekends they were mostly busy with their own family and friends. Also as we have no family nearby we mostly stayed in in the evenings, and as my partner works late most evening (back at 8pm) i didn't do some things i wanted, like going to the gym. Due to this isolation, I decided to move back. I also wanted to be closer to friends and other family, but actually we are not as close as i thought and i hardly see them now I'm back
My partner now stays in Manchester on days he is working and travels by train back here for days off. Currently his work pay for his apartment in the city and his train travel.
He may now be offered an amazing promotion in Manchester, and as part of the deal he will demand one weekend day off a week. This has changed the thought of life in Manchester for me now, as we will have at least one day together as a family each week which we didn't have before.
I have found since moving that I really miss living with my partner and our life together, and I miss the Mum friends I made in Manchester.
I am lucky that my work have allowed me to work from home so I kept my full time job when I moved, which I love, but I really miss the social side of working in an office.
But if I moved back to Manchester, I would be 2 hours drive from parents. We are all really close, and they have been really upset by the prospect that we might move back to Manchester. They're in their mid to late 60s now so the drive is not easy for them
I don't really have close friends in the Midlands, so I can't help feeling that when we do get our own house, I would feel lonely, especially working from home and both me and the kids would miss having Daddy around each morning and some evenings (he would still work until 8pm some evenings so would be home after bedtime).
Also running two properties would be a big strain on our finances, especially including nursery fees, so financially it makes much more sense for us to live in Manchester.
But my parents are such amazing support, would pop round a few times a week, I'd see them at weekends and they would stay over to give me reprieve during the new born phase. I love the relationship they have with baby 1 and will have with baby 2.
I feel like I might end up relying on them as my social life! I am pretty outgoing though so feel comfortable making new friends at baby classes etc.
I feel like I have to choose between my partner or parents! Please, any advice appreciated.