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Rubbish Grandparents

2 replies

Daisy183 · 20/04/2019 07:59

My daughter is one year old, she is the first grandchild for my parents. In all honesty they weren't the greatest parents, they had me young 17&19 and to summarise they never embraced their parenting roles. I had naively thought though that they may enjoy being grandparents more now they have matured. However, since my little girl has been born they have shown little to no interest. They are separated, i saw them both at Christmas and I've seen my dad once as he was working very nearby and it was convenient for him to hang around my house for an hour or so between two appointments and for another brief show up at her first birthday party. My mum also came briefly to the party and I saw her for 5 mins the week of mothers day to hand her a card and gift. My mum lives 30 mins away and goes to bingo 5 mins from my house a min of once a week and my dad lives just under an hour away. Neither have made contact to see her this easter bank holiday. My mums sister has actually spent more time with us, who actually commented that my mums behaviour is so odd. She made no effort to interact with my little girl at her party. She literally turned up, sat down ate some food and left early without barely acknowledging myself or the birthday girl. My dads sister commented I should be honored he even turned up as he is not a family man. There has been absolutely no offer of any help or support from either of them and i cant help feeling disappointed, even though I should have known not to expect anything more. In their view children are a burden and a drain. I'm finding it harder to accept and literally feel like cutting them off, although it will probably take about a year for them to notice! Has anyone else experienced this? Has a bad grandparent ever changed their ways? Have they become more interested as the child got older? Have you just made the cut?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MigGril · 20/04/2019 08:06

You just have to accept they are not children people and won't be that involved. My in-laws are similar and had kids young and I think only had them as that was the thing you did. Mother in law certainly isn't the type to play with the children and we don't see them oftened even though they only live an hour away. We have sometimes seen my dad more who live over 3 hours away.
Enjoy the connection with your aunt my husband has an aunt who's like this, she's great with the kids. Life is to short to waste on family who aren't really interested.

Lorelei2 · 21/04/2019 21:22

Feel really sorry to hear this. It's such a shame that people miss out on the most beautiful moments and it's so hard to turn off from the idea that they may never want to spend a great deal of time with your DC. I really feel for you. It's so hard, impossible to give up on that idea of grandparents being in your DC's life and actually, to be honest, your DC may grow up to love your parents even though they show little or no interest. You never know, maybe in the future your parents may find a common interest with your DC in the future, and if it doesn't happen, well at least you can say you never stood in the way of it. Maybe ride these years through and see how your DC responds as she grows older. She could then decide for herself how she feels about her grandparents.

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