When did it start to get easier for you?

[NightOwlStacey]

I have a 13 week old DD who I love dearly but becoming a mum has been the hardest thing I've ever done. I wasn't prepared for it but DD is (I think) a high needs baby. In her first 8 weeks she basically cried whenever she was awake- would have 4 hour long crying sessions etc. I took her to various walk in clinics who said she was fine and there was nothing wrong. She also wasn't a great sleeper. Both these things have improved but I think I've been left with some kind of trauma as now if she cries I get knots on my chest and the feeling of panic rises again- the worry is she will cry and cry and I won't be able to comfort her and stop the crying.

I'm already seeing improvements now she's a bit older but I would really love to know what life with a typical 6 month old is like, or one year old- it gives me something to aim for. I hope I find the toddler years easier than the newborn stage. When did it get easier for you?

I found the toddler years the hardest, sorry! But maybe cos I have 2, so I was either pregnant with a toddler, had a baby and a toddler or a preschooler and a toddler. Anyway, I found things got (slightly) easier once the youngest got to 2ish, and again once he was coming up to 4.

Each age has its challenges, your wonder how your going to get through it, then suddenly realise you have. It helps when they really start engaging with you, a long lasting tantrum is forgotten about when they wrap their arms around your neck and squeeze tight. Parenting is hard, my eldest is a few days shy of 18 and we still face challenges. But honestly it's all worth it

My second was like this. I couldn’t be out of his sight without him screaming. I know how you feel, it’s just unimaginable how exhausting it is. That someone needs you 24/7. I would say when he got to about 5 months it got a bit easier as he slept a bit more. Xx

IME there are big shifts at about 3-4 months, 8-9 months, 12-15 months, 3ish, 6ish. We are at 10 now and no more yet but I'm expecting one at 11, one at 13, one at 15/16, just based on what friends/family have said.

Whether things get easier or harder at these points seems to depend massively on the baby but also on you - parents just find different things hard.

I also have a toddler and a baby (17 month gap) and although it was hard, my first was a “high needs” baby and my second was much more chilled, I actually found it easier with 2 (with a chilled baby) than with 1.
I found it just got incrementally easier in small steps. She is now 2.5 and an absolute ball to be around and my baby is 10 months and a chilled out kid.
Hang in there! I find generally that those who find the toddler years hard had an “easy” baby, and those who find the baby years hard find the toddler days easy!

I have a one year old. She's the world's easiest baby. Never cries, sleeps all night, eats everything. One of the girls who works in the nursery was asking me today if we have any friends with kids the same age as she wanted to make sure we knew how lucky we are with her. She is such a happy little thing.

At 13 weeks, if you had told me that would be the description of her at a year I would've never ever ever ever believed you.

She had silent reflux as a newborn and couldn't sleep lying down.

Just as she got over that, she hit the four month sleep regression, hard (sorry) and was up every two hours for five weeks.

I was on my knees.

Things along the way that I found make things easier:

• Smiles, from about 6 weeks
• Ranitidine prescription, about 8 weeks
• Improvement in reflux, 12 weeks
• Able to sit in high chair so we could have dinner at the table, 12 weeks (I never saw this one coming, but it was HUGE)
• Moving from lie flat carry cot to buggy seat of pram so she wasn't miserable every time we went out, 12 weeks
• End of 4 month sleep regression, 19 weeks
• Sitting up, and generally being more inquisitive about the world - 6 months or so I think
• Sleeping through once we moved her to her own room, 7 months
• Once she could sit reliably and entertain herself with her toys - 8 months maybe?

Basically, these things will happen at different times for different babies, and different babies will get easier at different milestones. But it will get easier, you're in the trenches now.

I also loved getting out to baby classes (never would've believed it before I had her) from about the 3 months, just gave the day a bit of structure and I was permanently desperate for adult company.

Thank you for the reassurance everyone. @MindyStClaire thank you for taking the time to write that- those milestones are what I am aiming for. I don't want to wish the early months away but the lack of sleep is making everything so difficult. I was up 4 times with her last night and no doubt it will be the same tonight. Dreading the four month regression!

I have 23 months between my 2 and the toddler and baby years were soo hard. I remember thinking when will this get easier. I felt guilty because all I ever wanted was children and I was finding it so hard. Fast forward to age 5 and 7 and they were definitely the best easiest years. However they are now almost 13 and 11 and this is the hardest stage yet - constant whinging, fighting , bad attitude and constant issues with friends and fallouts. I would go back to those toddler and baby years in a flash!! 😁