Dear mums & dads
I can't figure out what to do but I need to do something. A couple we know have a 11-month old daughter. The parents used to be quite good friends back in the days when we moved in big grops from bar to bar in London, before children came along. Now we see them whenever this group of friends gets together, lastly last night at a barbeque. Everyone has known since their daughter was born that the mum had problems bonding with her baby. She openly told everyone after a couple of wines that 'her life was ruined' and 'the baby is so difficult and manipulative' etc. The thing is, they have money. So, pretty much as soon as she got home from hospital, she has had a 6-day a week nanny, from 7am to 7pm, she doesn't work. These nannies change practically every month because she is such a nightmare to work for. She gets up late, goes out, and has said that many days she doesn't see her daughter at all because she is 'busy'. They go on holidays a lot, and a few times they have left their baby daughter at home with a nanny for several days. Once, they just hired a temp nanny from an agency two days prior, left their baby with her, and took of for five days.
There's more. The mum has a cocaine problem, and often is out partying until 3-4am. She is in no way capable of doing anything the next day, even if she wanted. The nannies and her husband are sort of keeping it together in that the husband works to provide the money to hire the people caring for their child around the clock. The husband is at his wits end and doesn't know what to do either, he said some shocking things last night about how the mum just doesn't want to have anything to do with their daughter, but he needs to work so that at least someone can look after her. They have no family around. The mum has now admitted depression and is seeing a therapist, who in good psychoanalyst traditions is blaming the husband.
When I hear the father last night telling how her daughter 'has these awful tantrums all the time', people around them have to do something. Everyone is concerned, but no-one wants to intervene because of social conventions. But a 11-month old baby doesn't have frequent tantrums unless she is emotionally permanently insecure, being neglected and in danger of being scarred for life.
I want to call the Social Services but my husband says that we shouldn't. Please tell me what to do, every time I think of this poor little girl I burst into tears.