Any tips for first days with second dc and toddler when dh goes back to work

[Lizbiz89]

So I've just had my second baby and I'm already nervous about my dh going back to work. My toddler is just over 2 and I'm breastfeeding my second dc so I'm nervous about how I'm going to manage it all. Can anyone give any tips on how they managed when they went from 1-2 and dh went back to work?

Watching with interest! I’ll be in a similar position too, in 2 weeks. 😳

Be out more than in. Go to all the toddler groups you can, there's always someone who'll cuddle a baby while you see to the toddler. It takes a village to raise a child..

Sling! Routine.

Gin

I could have written this myself. My DS is two weeks old and DH is about to go back to work. I have a 16 months old daughter too. She's too young to understand or to reason with. We've spent DHs time off basically eachnlooking after one of them at a time. How on earth do I do it alone? Good luck OP. I'm sure we'll adapt to our new normal. Hopefully the anxiety is worse than the reality.

Our gap was 15 months. You can do this, both of you! Routine. Don't expect too much. Get out of the house!!! Sit when you want to.
You'll find your own normal. If everyone is fed and safe, you're fine! Week 2 will be easier xxx

Thank you for your replies! It's all so daunting isn't it! I remember feeling really nervous with my first dc and now I think what the hell was I worried about! Completely different ball game now. I know we'll get into a routine eventually but still doesn't stop me being anxious. Will definitely be investing in a sling though!

You are in survival mode. Don’t try and be the perfect interactive mum with the toddler. Just get through these early weeks

• Sling
• TV
• Make sure you leave the house once a day
• Make sure toddler is set up before you settle for a feed - been to the toilet, got a snack and drink, activity prepped

Easy meals, again don’t do anything adventurous

Batch cook and freeze at the weekend or whenever DH is home. Ditto online shopping. Bulk buy nappies, loo roll, washing powder etc.
There were no computers when mine were at that stage, let alone online shopping, and it was the supermarket run that nearly drove me mad.
Do not attempt housework or cleaning other than the bare essentials.
The weather is improving so pack picnics and go to the park as much as possible. If you know anyone else at the same stage try and join in with them. It makes life easier.

Honestly it'll be fine. It's amazing how quickly you get used to the chaos (16 month gap here). But totally agree with this Go to all the toddler groups you can, there's always someone who'll cuddle a baby while you see to the toddler. And don't be afraid to ask another mum/grandma for help, i.e putting your toddler's coat on or holding the baby while you get the toddler a snack etc. I've found people are only too willing to help but are sometimes afraid of being seen as interfering.

Thank you everyone for your advice! DH is home for another week so I'm going to start being a bit more independent next week, just to ease myself into it. Already bought nursing sling and making sure I I'm up and about whilst breastfeeding if toddler needs me. I know it'll all settle but I always find the anxiety is much worse than reality!

Someone suggested to me a box of toys specifically that comes out when feeding the baby so toddler is entertained by different items to normal x

I felt the same, completely terrified! Box of special toys worked, toddler loved cuddling and extra attention while breastfeeding, e.g. reading a book for her. It really is possible with loads of cushions to support everyone.

Sling worked too, toddler in pushchair, baby in sling and off to a toddler group.

Despite being initially terrified, it was actually nicer with chatty toddler in tow :). I was more confident, relaxed and less anxious even though I felt I have forgotten everything and second child was very different anyway.

The first day your husband is back to work it will be fine, the lead-up is worse.