Struggling with 2 year old

[Struggling19]

NC for this.

I'm a SAHM to my 2 year old and I'm struggling with his constant need to be in my face all the time.

If I go to the loo he's in there with me, moaning and pulling at me. If we're playing with toys he physically has to take my hand and 'walk' me from one toy to another rather than walking over himself or bringing it to me. If we're reading a story and he wants a different book again he has to walk me over and back again. If we're at a toddler group he acts the same so I often miss out on the mum chat as I'm constantly being led about by him while other kids are happily playing. If I arrange to meet friends as softplay I can't get speaking to them because I'm hauling myself up foam steps because he won't go in himself, though he's capable of doing it.

If we're watching wee rhymes on YouTube he's moaning and throwing the remote in my face every 2 minutes to change it. If I leave the room to get something or make dinner he follows me moaning and crying. If I say 'no' or that I'll just he a second he gets upset and starts a tantrum.

I used to work in a stressful job and now find it unbelievable that I could cope with that but am now struggling to deal with him. He isn't talking properly yet so his default noise is moan/whine and it grates on me.

Tonight I lost my shit because he was moaning as I clearly wasn't unwrapping a snack fast enough for him. I shouted at him to be quiet then went into the bathroom and slammed the door a few times. When I heard him crying I came back out, hugged him and apologised but I felt like a shit mum.

My husband works away up to 4 nights a week so all of the childcare falls to me and I'm also in the middle of IVF injections so that probably isn't helping my mood.

I feel bad because I wanted to give up my job and be a full time mum. I know this is what I signed up for and I'm guessing his behaviour is normal but I'm just finding it hard right now.

Sorry, just needed to let that out!

It IS hard though! Don't feel like a bad mum.

Your toddler sounds totally normal (and adorable! But it's hard to see that when you get no space!)

Can you have anyone watch him for a few hours whilst you have some time to yourself?

If you set him up with playdough, drawing, tv etc will he play without you?

Thanks for replying!

I could ask family to babysit for me to let me wander the shops but I kind of feel guilty doing that when I don't work and could technically go to the shops any time, albeit it with DS in tow. I've applied to have him go to nursery 2 mornings a week from August and I feel guilty even doing that as people might think I'm just being lazy 😬

Oh god yes mine is clingy, he's nearly 4 now and it improved a lot once he could speak and understand more, age 2 was the worst.

I find that at least I can make him do almost anything by offering to move away from him until he is ready (to put his shoes on, shut up and go to sleep, whatever). He instantly gets on with it rather than let me go and get on with something else.

I always found it easier to have another kid around as they'd play together and give me 5 mins peace, are there any other kids you could borrow? Then maybe you could get more of a break if the other kids parents would look after yours for a bit too. Kid's a few years older seemed to distract him particularly well.

A bad back prevented me from carrying him much in a toddler sling, but I did it a bit and it was good at shutting him up while I got on with things, could that work for you?

I hear you! I've just spent two hours, fucking two hours, putting my DD to bed. Ugh. She's tough right now. As someone up thread said, I think it's communication but by goodness, it's hard.

Solidarity.

Do not feel guilty, you need a break sometimes. With my first I was determined to do it on my own. I have 3 now, and happily ask for childcare for a couple of hours every so often to get a few hours to myself. Luckily their grandparents are happy to help. There's nothing wrong with asking for help

BTW don't feel guilty about nursery, they learn so much it's really good for them to experience a bit of life outside your relationship!

Do try to get a break, toddlers can be very wearing. Have you thought about trying baby signing? It sounds like a lot of the velcro attachment is about him showing you things he can't yet communicate.

Thanks everyone! Feeling better now. Tomorrow is another day!!

My DD is very similar OP, I feel you. Hoping it’s a phase they will pass through eventually and I wont need to be hauling my heavily pregnant butt off the sofa every 2 minutes 😂

My DS is constantly glued to me at home, his comfort thing is playing (not very gently) with my hair, he likes to basically sit on my shoulder and hug my head, or just generally climb all over me. However, outside is another story and he can't get away fast enough, prams, reigns and hand holding cause massive tantrums. I'm trying to see the positives and remember it's just a phase!
for you, it's hard work!

My DD is also similar. She has always been clingy but it got particularly bad just before she turned 2. Her speech was actually pretty good but, unfortunately, it didn't help. She just screamed "Mummy, I'm here, I'm here!", ran towards me and pulled my hand whenever she thought I was not giving her enough attention. I didn't even dare to step out of the room (even when there were other people around including DH). DD followed me everywhere. I was only "allowed" to go to work - DD was used to me leaving at the same time each morning.

DD is now 27 months and it is slowly getting better. I can only recommend getting all the help you can get (family, babysitters, nursery - you name it). Looking after high maintenance toddlers is exhausting.