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Parenting

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Original poster

I don’t want my child christened but...

15 replies

MaybeButNotNow · 16/04/2019 19:43

As the title says, I don’t want my child christened. I am Not religious and feel like a hypocrite going to church promising things I know I’m not going to do. My OH wants him to be christened & to have god parents. Have any of you come across similar? Can you just have godparents without being christened or would that be a little silly? Thank you

OP posts:

Hollowvictory · 16/04/2019 19:45

No, godparents is a religious commitment made at a christening.

99calmbeforethestorm · 16/04/2019 19:48

Can you not have a naming ceremony instead?

Bumbers · 16/04/2019 19:48

I am a non religious God parent to my friend's kids. We look out for them, love them and would be involved if something happened to my friend and her husband. However, obviously we are not religious.

I would not allow any child of mine to be christened - it is something I feel strongly about.

Some people do a similar secular naming ceremony.

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LuluBellaBlue · 16/04/2019 19:48

I think there might be naming ceremonies or welcoming the baby event you could do and at either have named guardians?

BruceAndNosh · 16/04/2019 19:54

The hint is in the name.
GODparents

You can have a non religious naming ceremony and call them something else.

NannyR · 16/04/2019 19:58

What about a welcome blessing/thanksgiving in a church then your child can make up their own mind about baptism when they are older?

lots33 · 16/04/2019 20:03

We had a naming ceremony and odd-parents.

FrozenMargarita17 · 16/04/2019 20:35

Hi op. I had the exact dilemma but in the end he agreed that it was unfair to force me to be part of something I didn't believe in, and also agreed that dd might have wanted a choice. If dd wants to be involved with the church when she is older I will be completely behind her, because it's her decision.

Justajot · 16/04/2019 20:40

My DDs have non-religious godparents. We didn't fancy using an alternative name for them as they are all a bit twee for our taste. We didn't have a naming ceremony, just invited them to a small first birthday party with just them and family. They are just people we like who we thought it would be nice for them to have a relationship with our DDs.

CatWithKittens · 17/04/2019 09:29

This is not as easy as some people are making out - OP says her OH wants the baby to be Christened. If he has faith and it means a lot to him, surely that is something that has to be taken into account? It is, I would have thought, one of those occasions where even the wise ones of MN have to give way to loving discussion between the parents. I would only ask one question if one parent believes that Christening means something and the other believes that it does not, who will be making the biggest sacrifice if they give way to the other? I suggest it would be the person giving up something in which they believe rather than the one who watches something happening which is of complete unimportance and no significance to them.

flitwit99 · 17/04/2019 09:32

In our church you can have a christening and only one parent makes the promises or vows. Then you can have godparents. One of our kids has a non-religious godparent. They didn't have to say anything though, just be there. They might not have done it if they had had to make some sort of religious statement, I don't know.

Hollowvictory · 17/04/2019 09:32

Godparent is a religious commitment. There's no such thing as a non religious godparent. You can of course have special people who care about your children and you can call them anything you like, but they aren't godparents. (I'm an atheist and did not have my children christened).
It's also a myth that godp would look after your children if anything happened to you. You need to appoint a guardian via your will for that.

AuntMarch · 17/04/2019 11:19

I knew someone who had mentors and a naming ceremony

Happyspud · 17/04/2019 11:25

Funny thing about God and religion. It’s personal. And is up to the individuals to decide what it means to them. So yes, you can be a God parent without believing in God. I am. It’s my business what I believe, not even the business of the Priest. I believe in the values that are represented and symbolised by God. Doesn’t mean I believe in ‘Him’ but I am perfectly capable of ‘carrying out his work’ by my belief in those values.

So yeah, it’s not up to anyone to decide what the right way to interpret God and religion is. It’s personal and different for everyone.

Isitweekendyet · 17/04/2019 11:28

I’m my niece’s god mother but in no way religious. My sister desperately wanted me to be, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it.

I understood it that it is my role to support my niece’s journey with religion. I love and care for her and when/if she chooses to learn about Christianity I will support and encourage her wholeheartedly. Because I don’t have a faith doesn’t mean I can’t support her

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