Advice needed about grandparents

[Pirates92]

My partner and I split up which means I am now currently staying at my parents while I find my feet financially and emotionally. We are on really good terms and share the care of the little one with no problems between us.
However, my mum always snatches the little one out of my arms when I’m looking after him or picks him out of his walker whenever I put him in it so I can wash up or make a bottle. This has led to him reaching for her over both of us parents. It upsets me because the little time I have with him after work ends up being a visit for grandma rather than myself. Other family members have noticed that she sometimes tries to act like a parent and have tried talking to her about it for me. I’ve tried talking to her over and over again both nicely and sternly myself, but it seems like she doesn’t listen or respect my parenting.
I know it comes from a place of love and I completely appreciate her help, but it makes me feel disrespected as a person and as a parent and I don’t know what else to do!
Any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable/harsh about the situation?

Work towards getting out of there ASAP. You’ve spoken to her, it hasn’t worked, you need your own place.

How old is he? You mentioned still using a walker. We lived with my folks for a couple of months while my little boy was under 6 months, and there were many jokes about how he preferred nanny I did get a bit sensitive about it after a while to be honest. But when they're little, they seem to be less fussy about who they're with, as long as there's a bit of love coming their way. As he got older, he definitely knew who mummy was, and I come above everyone else now.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, if your relationship is generally positive, maybe she's just trying to enjoy the time with him as she knows you're moving on soon? I think it's ok for her to be interacting with him while you're busy with bottles for example, but snatching him away from you is not on. Keep asserting your boundaries calmly, and look to move on as soon as possible. I've lived at home a few times as an adult, and I think even if the relationship is positive, it can be a weird dynamic. Good luck!

I would say to talk to her again one last time. Tell her exactly how you feel and that she had her chance at being a mum, now its your time. maybe ask your father to talk to her to? then I would move out- is there anywhere else you can stay? This would prove the point that you appreciate the help but he’s your son. sounds really tough OP. good luck x

I would say just deal with it quietly to yourself. You'll be on your feet eventually and your DC won't remember this time at all - it is not as if they will be confused when they're five about who mum is. In the meantime what your mum is doing is helpful (physically, if not emotionally). If you bring conflict then it will just make your home life unhappy, and not improve anything at all.