Extreme Guilt

[Justconnie]

This is my second time writing this cus it glitched out so I’m shortening it. Lol

So basically I moved to Canada 4 years ago and met a Canadian man who has a son with shared custody. (So cant ever leave)

6 months ago we had a baby and his temperament has completely changed. He’s so negative and moody. Has horrible vocal outbursts in front of the boys and has said on several occasions that this is why he never wanted kids.

I have been struck with awful guilt bringing my baby into this kind of atmosphere. On top of being so far away from family and friends. We FaceTime his nan and grandads nearly every day and seeing how much my parents miss us makes me feel so sad. I thought this feeling would pass but it’s getting worse. Especially because I don’t want my baby growing up in a negative environment. He deserves to be a happy little boy.

I feel so alone , I have no family or friends here and I just want to take my baby away and be back home. Especially considering I feel like he doesn’t deserve to be around this.

Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

HELP.

I didn't want to read and run. I'm sure someone will be along with some great advice soon!
Sending you a hug xxx

Why can't you move back, is it a legal thing? Sounds really tough

Because baby would be so far away from his dad. Would I be a bad person taking him away?

OP it would be worse to keep your baby with his Dad. Even if its not permanent, I would advise go home to your family and safety and think it through. Is he worth it? Doesn’t sound like it to me! remember your worth! wishing you strength, Xx

You can’t move your baby away from Canada without his agreement.

Can you move out? How bad is his behaviour?

Any chance he has PND?

I think he would give me his permission to leave if it's what I wanted. The sad thing is, he says he loves us but he works away for a week and then he's home for a week. When he's away he says how much he "misses" us but yet when he's home it's like it's a hassle to be a dad and bf. If I leave him with the two boys (his son and mine) he can't cope. I came home the one time after being out for 3 hrs to crying and him leaving the house because he didn't want to be around the boys anymore.

I think he likes the "thought" of having a family but doesn't want any of the responsibilities that go along with it. Where as I've always wanted to be a mum and it's honestly fulfilled my heart

I don't know if it's PND he might have or just depression and anxiety in general. He said months ago he'd go and talk to someone but won't make the call. Should I give him an ultimatum?

Yeah I think maybe if I go away for a while. While I'm still on maternity leave. That might help my side of things.

I could never move out and live alone here. It's way too expensive. Child care costs on their own I couldn't afford