Work Life Balance - Single Parent Job Change?

[Ollivander]

I've been a single parent to 2 DC (DS10, DD6) for nearly 3 years, kids have regular contact with XH. I went back to work full time on separating and DC went into after school/holiday club. DS hasn't settled well into that part of the routine - we had behaviour problems previously but these are exacerbated by his dislike for childcare. He finds it boring, doesn't get on with staff or some other children. Has been excluded from one provider, is on thin ice with another. He is in year 6 so no childcare available from the summer. No childminders available in our area.

I have a stressful job which I really dislike, made more difficult due to occasional school refusal (DS does go but delays, kicks off often in mornings, particularly for holiday club) which makes me late. Work have been supportive but this will only go so far. My family support when they can but they all work full time too, kids dad won't do anything over and above his scheduled days.

I am now thinking about changing to a school hours job - meaning a significant drop in pay, but it is possibly doable. Would be beneficial for me to leave current job, but I would be replacing the stress of the job with the stress of possible financial difficulty. Other pro's - I will get to spend time with DC. We have very little quality time at present during the week, I pick them up at 6, home for tea, rushing through homework then start bedtime routine. Lots of time wasted with DC arguing, we find it hard to maintain routine due to DS challenging behaviour (possible PDA, anxiety, controlling behaviours) - I have sought help from various sources over the years but coming to nothing as every agency seems to 'pass the buck'.

Is it worth changing jobs to gain time with children and remove the need for childcare which would help DS, but at the risk of struggling financially? Worst case scenario I could downsize house - would prefer not to as moving would be costly and possibly upset DC, but is an option for the future if needed.

Does anyone have any advice or past experience to assist? I feel like I'm losing time with my children for a job that pays the bills with a bit left over, but is making me depressed and anxious.

Thanks in advance.

OP I did this very thing - left a high earning full time job in the senior civil service and retrained as a teacher. Still have the before and after school care (earlier start as I have to be at work by 8 but earlier finish so always home with DS by 5). Pay is not great in early stages but am hopeful of it picking up as I progress. No more holiday clubs or long days at the childminder and after the hell of PGCE year, the NQT year has been a positive move towards a much better balance. DS is happier, I am happier and we are making ends meet for now. It can be done.

That's really good to know, thanks Sainteyning. I've thought about teaching, possibly will look at training once DS is settled into high school. Do you have to do much work at home in the evenings? This is something else I'm trying to get away from.

I did every night (or it felt like it!) in my PGCE year even though the teaching load was super light in comparison to this year. Learning curve. I now use my PPA time to plan for the week/2 weeks ahead and as I am in primary, I can use twinkl if I need to as my head is fine with it. I do all my marking between 3-4 so I can leave at 4.

Single parent teacher here- 10 years in.

I would say go for it on the whole. I love teaching!

However..... teaching isn’t family friendly as many would think. Your PGCE year will be hellish. I promise. Your NQT year probably will be too. The school you end up in will play a MASSIVE part in this.
While you will in theory be able to be home slightly earlier some nights (we have staff meetings 2 days a week after school and every teacher has to run a minimum of one after school club), I rarely get home before 6 and I live a 4 min drive/17 min walk from my school.
Inset days are a nightmare for childcare. You most probably won’t be able to have any time off for school events for your own children/looking round high schools/orthodontist appointments/gas men/flooded kitchens/any kind of delivery/being a parent volunteer on your children’s school trips etc etc
Many academies have changed their term and holiday dates so often teachers find their school hols aren’t aligned with their children’s.
Half terms are generally spent prepping for the next half term with many days in school or meeting parallel teachers to do all the stuff you never get a chance to do in term time.
Sorting out childcare for parents evenings at your school etc can be a nightmare too and worse if these clash with parent eve for your kids- easy to rearrange in primary, impossible in secondary.
You will give your heart and soul to your class then be an exhausted, impatient mess for your own- then forever feel guilty about this.
Teachers are critiqued CONSTANTLY and you will be consistently assessed in all areas. The pressures are huge- from senior leaders, parents, governors, ofsted, any Tom, DICK or Harry who has ever been to any school ever in their lives. And I say this as an “outstanding” teacher, whatever that even means because the goal posts are constantly changing, you are dealing with children not robots and funding cuts have far reaching consequences for everyone in schools, however your data (as that’s what it all comes down to: data) cannot reflect this. Something has to give and usually that is your sleep and your sanity.
The pay is pretty crap when considering length of service and reflection of increased responsibilities compared to people in the private sector, and your unpaid (yes people UNPAID) annual leave is obviously always dictated to you- what I would give to be able to have my/DC’s birthdays off! But the summer holiday is fricking glorious. This is recharge and restore time.

But don’t be put off! We desperately need more teachers!!!
It’s a great job, but you shouldn’t go into it with your eyes closed!!!

Good luck xx

Thank you both. It's certainly something I'll be considering further - I'm looking for a support role in the meantime which is why money is more of a concern at this point. If not teaching first hand I've also thought about training for Forest school (fits with my ancient degree).