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My anxiety when child ill

5 replies

MrsWorrywog · 13/04/2019 19:21

My first child gets very ill very quickly and has done since he was a baby. He has ended up in hospital a few times now and each experience has terrified me. He has collapsed before and turned blue.

I seem to be much more laid back with the second child and handle the illnesses much better.

However, as he gets older, my reactions are now beginning to scare him when he's poorly. I start physically trembling, feel sick and repeatedly ask him if he's ok, to stand up, talk to me, etc etc.

He is still very poorly when he is poorly and spikes a very high temperature which is often impossible to bring down.

He is currently very unwell and being seen by the out of hours gp, my husband is with him and I am at home with DC2, but I am a trembling wreck. Every worst case scenario is rushing through my head and the guilt for not being there is excruciating.

I know this has been caused by his high susceptibility to illness and the way he deteriorates very quickly, but I need to get some control over myself as I am now frightening him every time he is ill. Unfortunately, he seems to be quietly ill for some time before we realise how poorly he is and has done this since he was a baby. He has even scared other health care professionals before now into thinking there is something very seriously wrong when he is ill quite a few times.

Despite this, how do I stay calm and in control in these situations? I am causing him so much anxiety now through my own anxiety. I just can not cope when he is ill.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Longolddaytoday · 13/04/2019 19:24

Apologies if you've already done this, but have you done a first aid course/ refresher? I had similar levels of anxiety and it helped me feel a little more in control.

MrsWorrywog · 13/04/2019 19:32

Yes, I found that really helped initially too and the logical side of me knows to calm down and rationalise things because of it, but I still seem to turn into some crazy mad woman. I even have to keep dashing to the toilet with the runs I get so nervous and all he wants is a cuddle and a calm mummy!

OP posts:
screamer1 · 13/04/2019 19:36

Following as I, and my son, are exactly the same. I actually had cbt to try to help, which it did a bit. I should probably do it again.

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Longolddaytoday · 13/04/2019 19:50

Yes, I had a little CBT too and it did help. Also, DD has a very forceful personality and gets angry if she feels nagged or fussed over ("No, mummy, my head isn't OUCHY, my mouth isn't OUCHY and I'm not OUCHY!") so I've realised that, if I'm to keep her communicating openly with me about her symptoms rather than clamming up, I need to back right off. Her personality effectively forces me to put my "calm" face on, even when I'm not feeling it.

I hope your son got on ok at out of hours.

peachgreen · 13/04/2019 20:03

You poor thing, that sounds really tough. I definitely think some CBT would help.

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