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Original poster

The great dummy debate

25 replies

Milligan123 · 10/04/2019 14:02

Hey everyone! Can I ask your opinions on dummies???.... My lo I'd 4 wks and has started having trouble settling for daytime naps, I go throu the usual checks ie. Nappy? Hungry? Cuddles etc... Sometimes it's just none of the above so have given a dummy which works straight away.... My issue is personally I don't actually like dummies!! (I don't really Know why!!!) So I feel a bit like it's a guilty secret!! (ie. Didn't want to give it to her yesterday as mil was on her way round and was worried about what she would say!) I know if it works then just do it, and I have tried to encourage her to find a thumb but that doesn't always work either, so yeah I was just wondering what other people's views are?...

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BiggerBoat1 · 10/04/2019 14:09

I used dummies and they were great. We took them away when my children were about 18 months with no problems at all.

Only ever gave a dummy for sleeping when in the cot. The dummies never left the cot and were never used for soothing at any other time than nap or night time sleep.

dontpointatme · 10/04/2019 14:13

Exactly the same as pp, ours was confined to the cot (or a very upset DD if she was unwell). Got rid just before she turned 2. Would happily do the same if I had another DC.

Original poster

Milligan123 · 10/04/2019 14:14

@biggerboat1 that's kind of what my plan is... Nap time only!!

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Chippychipsforme · 10/04/2019 14:25

I hate them but we use them for nap time and bedtime!

CoffeeNeeded2019 · 10/04/2019 14:27

Hey Op,

Babies often need the sucking reflex to calm , which is why dummies are great.
You might find your Little One stops wanting it after a while anyway- mine did after around 3 months, just spat it out every time 😂 but it definitely helped for the first few months!
Anything for an easy life/happy baby, stress not about what other people think!

PeoniesandPretties · 10/04/2019 14:30

I echo what everyone else has said and remember you can remove the dummy, their thumb will always be there!

Byebyefriend · 10/04/2019 14:32

I was very much a no dummy person. Then I had children both my had bad silent reflux and the dummy helped. Ds2 now only has it for bed, as soon as he was mobile I went over to cot only. Dd is 4 months so has it as and when she needs it. I just make sure it is only used when she needs it rather than constantly re plugging her like I have see done. I still don't like to see toddlers going around with one in but not my child not my business.

happyhillock · 10/04/2019 14:36

My two daughter's had dummies until they were about 20mths, regarding your mother in law if your baby gets comfort from a dummy and settles better it's none of her buisness

Megg1007 · 10/04/2019 14:37

I had the same view as yourself, I didn't want my son having them as I was worried about him being attached to it. But after 5 horrendous days I caved and now he's fine, not 2 yet but almost off it and I take it away from him once he falls asleep. My dad also said that it's easier to give them a dummy because you can take it away but you can never stop them sucking their thumbs! Just got to do what's best for you & your family.

Seahawk80 · 10/04/2019 14:38

Do what you need to do! I was v anti dummy and DS was a dreamy newborn who never needed one, fast forward to 18 months and broken nights constantly for 18 months and we tried a dummy when we got rid of the night feed. It worked and we have our sanity back! He does ask for it in the day but we say no unless he's not well. You just have to do what works!

Elliesw · 10/04/2019 14:56

I reckon the majority of babies have one...if not they use their thumb, a muslin etc for the same effect. My 80 yo mil was a bit disapproving but then again in her day babies were given opiates in cough syrup sooo... just do what you need to do, you and your little one are doing great 😊

countrymousesussex · 10/04/2019 20:30

I think it depends on the baby - apparently my mum was staunchly against them and lasted three weeks of me only sleeping in 45 minute stretches in the car/constant screaming before she made my dad go out in the middle of the night to buy one 😂

My MIL is still resolutely against them and is doing childcare when I go back full time, so we were cautious with our little girl as we didn’t want inconsistency but it turns out she doesn’t need one. She’s very attached to her fingers though 😩

However, if we’re blessed with a screamer next time I’m buying 500 of the things!!!!

MrsMaow · 10/04/2019 20:52

I used to be against them too, then I had a refluxy baby so I loved them for a while, now I’m up at least 4 times every night replacing the stupid thing as she can’t sleep without it at the moment and I have to wait til she’s 6 months to try and wean her off it as that’s the SIDS guidance. You might be lucky and have a baby who doesn’t need it to resettle themselves in the night, but you might be unlucky and be like me, or you might be really really unlucky and be like my cousin who has to replace it for her baby 15 times a night. 15.

Toodleoopuddle · 10/04/2019 20:56

I was very anti dummy with my 1st but my mum told me to stop being so ridiculous and bought me some and I will be eternally grateful. With dc 2 I took them to the hospital when I gave birth. Amazing inventions!!

sleepyhead · 10/04/2019 20:56

I wasn't very pro-dummies so ds1 didn't have one - later on how I wished he would but by the time I tried to introduce one a few weeks in he just wasn't up for it. He was a nightmare to settle.

Ds2 had a dummy and was much easier - partly personality but the dummy did help. He rejected it as soon as he could reliably get his thumb in his mouth though so it doesn't guarantee a non-thumb sucker!

HavelockVetinari · 10/04/2019 21:02

Ah, don't worry about your MIL, it's not her baby. Dummies reduce the risk of SIDS, if DS had slept with one I'd have been delighted (IVF pregnancy, huge anxiety, we used a an AngelCare for flipping ages!). As it happened, DS wasn't keen and slept in 45 minute bursts for the first 6 months, but I'd have been so happy if he'd taken to it.

PodgeBod · 10/04/2019 21:10

I wish I had given my dd1 a dummy as shes now 4 and still sucks her thumb all the time, and its affecting her teeth! I think it's much easier to get them off of a dummy.

Original poster

Milligan123 · 11/04/2019 03:34

Thanks for all the replies guys, it's good to know I'm not the only one out there using them but not liking them 😅 at the moment she only needs it during the day, she's great at night, so hopefully she won't become to dependent 🤞

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Breathingfire · 11/04/2019 09:38

Please don't encourage thumb sucking. I hated dummies but caved and gave one to dd1 who had colic. It worked a treat and I became quite pro dummy as I'd read they can help reduce the risk of sids on a night time.

My husband was very stern with me about not giving dd2 one. We took dd1s away at 2yo but it was a challenge so he was adamant he didn't want the new baby to have one. I kept trying to give her one. She won't have one though so doesn't use anything. She's not a colicky baby though

Redorangeyellowgreen · 11/04/2019 09:42

I never understand the dummy hate, honestly I think they look quite cute! Not on toddlers, but on babies. Plus they reduce the risk of SIDS.

Anyway my DD had one for naps and bedtime and it was a godsend. As others have said just limit it to those times.

TeddyIsaHe · 11/04/2019 09:45

Dummies help protect against the risk of SIDS so I haven’t a bad word to say against them.

Also unlike thumbs you can ‘lose’ them when babies are still quite young and it’s not traumatic. You can chop a thumb off!

The only thing I can’t stand is a toddler with a dummy constantly in their mouth out and about and talking around them.

TeddyIsaHe · 11/04/2019 09:45

Can’t chop a thumb off, blimey!

DaisyAWhoops · 11/04/2019 19:13

We used a dummy with our DD when she was very young as she was an incredibly 'sucky' baby who needed it to settle. My MIL was very vocal about how she doesn't believe in them and kept going on and on about teeth and speech delays and all sorts. And kept reiterating that she had SIX children who never needed dummies as she just tended them when they cried.

Within a few months, DD started rejecting her dummy. She now chews her fingers to settle. If I am honest I would rather a dummy as I can take that away rather then her fingers. (And I fought bloody hard to keep her on it after my MIL convinced my DH to remove it - after a few sleepless nights he returned to my opinion fairly quickly!)

Long story short, take the easy road! If it's what they need then give it to them! No point making your own life harder IMHO.

Cutesbabasmummy · 12/04/2019 08:02

My son loved his dummy but it went at 2 years old. He has perfect teeth and talks non stop at 4! My friend's daughter found her thumb. She still sucks it at 4 and the dentist has told her mum she needs to break the habit as her front teeth are being pushed outwards. If it helps your baby to sleep go for it.

Newyearsameoldshit · 13/04/2019 21:33

I was very anti dummy, then had a colicky unsettled baby and caved and bought some at about 5 weeks. Then she wouldn't bloody take it!
Do whatever works for you and your baby

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