How can I make ds 19mo happy?

[Somuchroom]

My 19mo ds is just never happy. I’m a sahm. We had 2 months of him being happy a while back and I loved it. Now I’m just getting through the days.
We start our day getting up, getting dressed, getting breakfast, playing with toys, going to play group, coming back for lunch, having a nap, waking up and having a snack, either in the garden/park or if weather is bad and activity at home, hour of tv whilst I make dinner, dinner, daddy home and plays, milk, bath, bed. He moans the entire time. This whingy noise. He will not play with his toys by himself. He screams when I go upstairs to use the toilet. He gets upset if I have to do anything other than give him my undivided attention. I’ll set him up with a toy and try to do the washing up and he will scream and be clinging onto my legs the entire time, even if I’m singing/talking/dancing to entertain him. It’s relentless. I can’t make him happy.
What am I doing wrong? It’s literally that disheartening my husband is getting the snip. I love this child so much but the fact he is miserable all the time no matter what I do makes me feel like crap. I am full on CBeebies presenter mode all day and all I want to do is sit down for 5 minutes and have a cup of tea whilst he plays with his toys and not have to listen to that whinge he makes. Does anyone else have experience of this?

Sounds like separation anxiety to me. I think (hope!) it passes!

What does he like playing with? My DC is a couple of months younger, he loves playing with things that aren't toys - so I'll often get saucepans & spoons out for him to bang, he's got a whole drawer of Tupperware in the kitchen to explore. I've also started setting up a couple of activities and leaving them out for days - currently he's got a posting game and a green treasure basket to explore. They seem to hold more interest than his actual toys!

Thank you for replying. I hope it’s separation anxiety and I pray it passes.

He has free run of downstairs to play, he loves the utensil draw and pulling out all the utensils to bang on the floor/walls. We don’t really say no to him unless it’s dangerous. He particularly loves his cars and jigsaw puzzles. I rotate his toys every week. He has a ball pit/pop up tent/tunnel for indoors. Outside he has 2 cozy coupes/swing/slide/sandpit/water table. I try to get him involved with things like cleaning (I give him a cloth) but so far the only thing he will do is press the button to start the washing machine. Same with gardening, he will occasionally pick up a leaf and put it in the garden waste sack.
I’m wondering if I should just ignore the whinging now or if that would be neglectful..

Oh and he has a million toys also at his disposal.

My daughter has days like this, although thankfully it's not every day. To be honest I just ignore it if I have other stuff to do. I keep talking to her and pick her up for the odd cuddle but I don't stop what I'm doing or do the whole cbeebies presenter thing anymore. Like you we go out loads and I play and read with her a lot at home so half an hour of her following me round the kitchen complaining isn't going to do her any harm I don't think! I think at this age they just want to be involved with everything. When I'm cooking my daughter is only happy in my arms watching what I'm doing. But that's not possible!

Why is the washing machine so interesting?!

I think it's probably a case of grinning and bearing it! Maybe it's a development stage?

My DS had a little spell of this, he's 20months, I would say it's just a Phase of separation anxiety maybe how long have they been like that?

When he was grabbing my legs, I would go down and give him a hug and then carry on doing my washing, I try avoiding picking up as much as possible. It seemed to calm him and he would then stop moaning.

I let my DS come up to the toilet with me, and talk him through what I'm doing (push my trousers down, having a wee etc) but this is more so he can see me using the loo and will help when potty training in a couple of months.

I think sometimes the CBeebies entertainer thing can be over stimulating or make them expect everything to be over excited all the time, that's just how I see it, I'm probably wrong.

I think my DS is just trying to find his little way in this big world and I try to reassure him as much as possible. Hopefully it will just be a phase and he will grow out of. This bloody parenting malarkey is tough isn't it. Good luck and I hope it passes

We had this from toddler to school age and it has been slowly passing. I used to think “high needs child” which was indeed correct but now I realise probably was also micronutrient deficiency, esp vits d and b and magnesium.

When mine were this age and a bit miserable I used to pop them in the bath, either with me or me just sitting on the side - bubbles and toys, even now with the kids being older if they are grumpy I always run a bath for them! Good luck

I also have his high chair by the work top and he would help prepare meals and with baking. I encourage him to get involved and "help" with any chores I'm doing be it empty washing machine, dishwasher and putting things away in drawers. He loves it as it keeps him occupied as he likes helping.

Sorry to hear this, it sounds very stressful.
The only thing that pops out is could you possibly be trying too hard and he's actually a bit overwhelmed? Just a thought and I could be way off but is it worth experimenting and see what happens if you do just ignore the grizzle for a bit. If your ds is fed, clean, warm and loved then no it's not neglectful to ignore grizzling occasionally. Not all day every day obviously but see what happens if you do just sit down with a cuppa and let him grizzle for a bit. It's worth exploring!

Thank you everyone for the advice. I’ve read it all very carefully and will implement some of your suggestions today. Separation anxiety seems very likely in this case. And I do think I’ve been trying too hard so am scaling back the CBeebies presenter act. I’m going to just relax a little bit and let him have a moan. He has actually been very good this morning, I emptied his play box on the floor and he’s been playing by himself happy enough for the last 10 minutes whilst I sit here drinking tea wondering why he felt the need to wake up at 5:30 today!
Will also look into micronutrient deficiency, he has a very varied diet and multivitamins but definitely worth exploring to see if there is anything I can do to help him become happier!