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Original poster

Losing bond with baby

8 replies

Iamsuchatit · 09/04/2019 10:09

I can’t get the title to describe how I feel in my mind so please bear with me!

When DD was born I felt bonded with her straight away but now she’s almost 6 weeks I feel like we’ve been losing our bond. I mean I love her and wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her but I feel like I want to get pregnant again to try and get that “closeness” with another baby as I don’t have it with her (I’m not planning on getting pregnant with another baby).

I’ve tried skin to skin with her abs we’ve just started to venture out going to baby groups but I don’t know how to get that bond back or shake this feeling. Help!

OP posts:

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Rosebud1302 · 09/04/2019 10:13

Oh OP hugs to you as those first few months are so tough emotionally, physically, mentally. Don't be too hard on yourself. Having a baby is a massive shock to the system and I felt exactly the same. I had days where I honestly thought "what have I done" and also felt very disconnected to him. I still have days like that but much much less often. It will get easier. I think we are made to believe mothers have this unconditional overwhelming all consuming love for our babies from the first second and it just isn't true. It will come as she gets more interactive and your body and mind heal. Take it easy (the first smile helps massively btw :) ) x

Rosebud1302 · 09/04/2019 10:14

I should say the overwhelming love isn't ALWAYS true so as not to generalise :)

Divgirl2 · 09/04/2019 10:51

Life isn't a Disney film - you won't feel that all consuming bond all the time. And the first few months are really tough and lonely.

Just wait until she's a bit more interactive and smiles at you, or hurts herself and reaches up to you for comfort, or runs over to you when you pick her up from nursery.

Honestly, what you're feeling is completely normal in my experience.

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Wallsbangers · 09/04/2019 11:29

6 weeks was peak crying for us plus he didn't smile for bloody ages so I just had this upset grumpy serious looking lump to carry round all day. Fast forward a few weeks and he was suddenly interested in things and starting to interact more which was great.

You're probably knackered as well so be kind to yourself.

Kokeshi123 · 09/04/2019 12:34

OP, what you are feeling is normal. The first "rush" of meeting the baby is over and the tiredness is catching up with you. You are still very very attached to your baby--if you weren't you wouldn't be on here worrying about your relationship with her, you'd be lying on the couch flipping through fashion magazines and not giving a damn ;)

EssentialHummus · 09/04/2019 12:35

Totally normal!

WhiskersPete · 09/04/2019 17:21

She’s still just a tiny baby! You have to build a bond with her now the initial hormones are going.

DelphiMum · 09/04/2019 18:30

6-8 weeks is peak crying time. It’s hard to bond with a screaming lump.

Don’t worry. Maybe try a bath together and long sleepy naps. Is baby smiling yet?

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