Tell me your experience of starting a family in your forties

[elasticfantastic]

Just that really. I've got big decisions to make.
If you had your first child in your forties.. tell me honestly.. do you regret it?

Only 10 months in here so not the voice of experience but overall I'm happy to be a parent and to have a child in my life even though I started a bit later than others.

I was 45 when I gave birth and tbh was a bit meh and ambivalent about the whole thing before and during my pregnancy.

The newborn stage is HARD and I didn't love it. I'm told some people do love it but, for me, it was more about a sense of absolute purpose and acceptance of my role as comfort and provider 24/7.

The older and more interactive he gets the more I am enjoying being a parent. It is hard work but a lot more fun than I expected. He makes me laugh so much and is such good company (he is a happy little fellow so that really helps).

I can honestly say that I don't regret it at all and am looking forward to the future with my little boy in my life.

Though it's equally important to say that I was happy with my life before kids and think I would probably have led a fulfilled life without being a parent, There are things I miss about the freedom of my life before having a baby but overall it doesn't outweigh the joy of having him, I'd say that he has not 'completed' my life but he has definitely enhanced it.

Not sure if that is the sort of response you were after but that's my experience so far. If it helps for context, I am in a long term relationship with a supportive partner and no major financial worries.
Is here anything more specific you want to hear about?

Thank you for your honest concise reply @Polestar50
We've been TTC 9yrs.. long story short I had accepted life without children.. husband wants us to carry on trying... I'm not sure I want to be starting in my 40s. I want to know the warts and all. I worry that I'd resent losing my freedom and be bored as all of my friends did their baby stages years ago.

I had my first at 41 and second at 48 (not a miracle, IVF). I am lucky in that i do have a few friends who also had babies later in life and also have a couple of younger friends who have recently added to their families, so i am not the only person i know with a toddler.

I would have preferred to have had children younger but i honestly don't regret having them now. I could do with getting fitter definitely but i haven't majorly struggled energy-wise.

I would say go for it if it is what you want and don't hesitate over worries about being more tired than if you were younger etc because you will find the energy from somewhere and everyone is exhausted in the early weeks ( although i avoided the worst of that by co-sleeping, that is not for everyone).

I also find i resent the nights in and reduced social life less than i would have in my twenties or thirties because i have done all that already.

Never regretted it. The only regret I have is waiting so long and only having one. I do slightly regret marrying in haste in a ‘I need a baby and this is my one chance’ kind of way as the marriage did go tits up.

I had my ds at 45.

I thought hard about it when I found I was expecting because I’ll be 66 by time he finishes a degree (if he does one).

But it was a one time, never to be repeated chance so I went for it, and haven’t regretted a second. Maybe a third of mums in ds’ class are within 3 or 4 years of me so not at all unusual.
Physically I was fairly fit and have worked to stay fit because it helps with mood & tiredness.
Ds is 11 now. I work full time and we have no real problems. He’s happy & cheerful.

I first became a father when i was 42. I'd never wanted kids. Never really understood why anyone would. As soon as my DD was born I felt an overpowering connectivity to the human race, history and the whole ball of wax that was the nearest thing I can imagine to what a religious experience must be like. (I am 176% atheist and 134% innumerate).

I love being a parent. I was (and still am to a great extent) the stay at home parent to all 3 of my kids. Best job I've ever had. I don't regret not doing it sooner but it's a bit annoying realising that I'll be long dead before my kids are mature enough to appreciate what a truly wonderful human being I am.

It's also a bit odd being old enough to your kids' grandparent (one of my school mates became a grandparent the same year as I became a father). Though it does have the advantage that the stuff you liked as a kid is so old it's back in fashion. My number one daughter (16) is constantly finding new old music, coming home raving about it, and then being pissed off /proud that I not only know what she's talking about but have it on vinyl.

I am 44 and have a 4 yr old and a 15mo. I had lots of MCs so wasn't intentional to start this late.
So far so good I would say. I am not finding energy a particular problem, but might do in a few years. I was surprised how much I wanted number 2, literally as soon as number one was out. She can along after our last throw of the dice.

Older mums are so much more common in don't feel like an oddity at all. I barely think about it.
What I struggle with the most is the never endingness. We have no family near by, so every minute the kids aren't with us we have to pay someone else to take them, but I think I would feel this even if I had squeezed them out in my 20s

Can I be honest. I had my last child then I was 36. I'm 56 this year and DD is 18. I am exhausted by still having 2 DC at home. They help out a lot, but I'm tired all the time. Its like a house share with 4 adults. I had a sudden thought yesterday, that I should have had my children a lot earlier. Although my DP and I can go out and travel when we want, there's still the responsibility of what's at home. The plus side is, my DC keep me young and help out with tech support!