I hate my baby

[Caitx]

He is safe with me I would never ever cause him any harm. I really don't know what to do, luckily my partners parents have him at night so I can get some rest but I dread getting up in the morning when I have him he cry's alllllll day long. He cry's when I hold him, when I feed him, when I cuddle him I've tried everything you can imagine I have been diagnosed with postnatal depression and I'm on 150mg of sertraline but I feel no better I'm back at the doctors tomorrow I'm scared she will think he needs to be taken away because I'm no better I'm going out my mind I've had enough I just wanna run I don't really know why I've wrote this post please don't judge me

Nobody will judge you. The fact you're going to the doctor and trying to get help shows how hard you're trying to be a good mum to your little one.

How old is your baby? Do you have anyone to help?

My baby cried all day every day until around 12 weeks. I used to dread getting up in the morning and sometimes questioned if I loved him. He's almost 10 months now and is the sweetest most lovely little boy. It gets better.

Morning,no judgement at all, acknowledging it’s really hard being a new mum
You’ve been diagnosed with PND.this affects mood,motivation but encouragingly it’s a treatable illness
With medication and support you’ll make a recovery,might not seem it now you will
Ask GP refer you to Midwife who can support you and recommend activities and visit you
The GP can review and monitor meds and they need time to kick in
No one will take your baby,this is about you both.your needs,your treatment

Wishing you well

it could be silent reflux, does he sleep on his back ok and does he seem uncomfy?

It gets better sweetheart, I promise. My DD screamed endlessly, endlessly for weeks and weeks. BUT eventually, it stopped. She had reflux and KISS syndrome and we got it fixed.
No-one will judge you. Being a new mum is bloody hard work, relentsless and unforgiving. You're on a bit of a rollercoaster journey, but you will get there.

Xxxxx
How old is your baby? Xxxx

The doctor is there to support you, they will have seen lots of mums in similar situations as you. Hope it goes well today 💐
If you can, try not to be hard on yourself you’re doing the best you can in difficult times. Think of crying as his only way of communicating with you, he’s ‘talking’ to you but it just sounds like an awful noise at the moment. It also helps to make plans for throughout the day, even if it’s just a 10 min walk every 2 hours, helps the day go faster.

Do you have any help during the day? I had a lovely lady from a charity called Homestart, organised by my health visitor. She would have baby and I could just have a bath or shower on my own, I loved her!

Things will get better OP, medication does take a little time to start working. The important thing is to tell the truth, nobody will judge you, if you had a broken leg and couldn't look after baby, nobody would judge you; there is a chemical imbalance in your brain that needs fixing, that's what the medication will do in time. Meanwhile, ask for help when you need it. Take care.

Absolutly no judgement, I spent a lot of time not liking my now almost 7 month DS. He wasn't a big crier like your baby, but he just wouldn't sleep, every nap, every bedtime was just painful. But it got better, we did some sleep training and I'm now starting to enjoy my maternity leave.

Going to the doctor is a huge step, so well done. With hindsight I should have gone several months ago but I'd convinced myself it was weakness asking for help. Even now I struggle asking for help and have to constantly remind myself it's totally fine to accept and to ask for help.

Hope it goes well today.

Make sure the doctor knows how you are feeling. If necessary write a write a note to give to her/him. It’s very important they understand that you are not coping,

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, it's a great step that you have written it down here.

As per PP said - try and write a note to the doctor if you don't feel you could talk. Alternatively just write bullet points through today to prompt you when you see her - when I was feeling like you my brain just stopped working, it wasn't even a case of streamlining my thoughts, because I was in overload there was just nothing in my mind especially when I needed there to be.

Huge, huge unmumsnetty hugs to you

I felt like this,in my case I didn't feel better til ds was around 1 yr.Dont give up it honestly gets better.

No judgement at all. You are doing a great job and by trying to get help for something that isn't your fault you are showing that you are a great Mum.

My DD has silent reflux and cried for a good chunk of the afternoon/evening. This just stopped one day when she had grown a bit and she has been fine ever since. The first few months are really hard (no one tells you how hard it will be) but it does get better. Keep going and hopefully you and your little one will feel better soon.

There is a thread on here called Parents of Criers Support Thread - thinks it's on the first page of parenting at the moment.
It is so hard when the crying is relentless, it helped me a little to know I was not alone.

You're doing the right thing going back to the doctor to get your medication checked/adjusted, no one is going to take your baby away.

Keep going, you are doing a great job even if it doesn't feel like it right now x

Going to the drs is really positive. You've recognised you're finding it hard and that's the first step.

Have you spoken to your HV in case there is anything they can offer too? Are you getting out and about? I find that getting some fresh air helps me feel better.