Potty training - day 4

[SuperStingray]

Today we are on day 4 of potty training my DD (2 1/2). Overall, it seems to be going OK. After the first day she has only really had max 1 accident a day. However, I have 2 concerns, and wanted to see if this is normal at this stage and any tips etc. Or whether these things are signs she actually isn't quite ready, despite the successes.

1. She doesn't really seem to have any recognition she needs to go - if I ask her she always says "no". So at the moment I am reliant on just telling her it's wee-wee time and putting her on the potty. If I know a wee is due I have to put her on really regularly and watch like a hawk for fidgety behaviour. This is fine when she's at home, but as of tomorrow she is in nursery for a couple of days and I am worried about how she will get on there where they may not be able to be so vigilant. They have said they aren't worried and just to bring her in with lots of changes of clothes.

1. She seems to be getting scared of pooing. She has had a couple of poos on the potty, and a couple of accidents. She is still going once a day at the moment but as she goes she's saying "I don't want to poo" "My poo is scary", although she's fine as soon as it's done. I am worried she might hold it in eventually if she stays scared. I would be happy to pop her in a pull-ups for now to poo, but she doesn't really know she needs one in enough time to get it on.

We are using a star chart and got her a few little presents for when she completes the star chart.

Sounds like you've made a good start.

In order to be potty trained she does need to know when she needs to go, but maybe she does, she just says no because she doesn't want to stop what she's doing? You need to slowly reduce the times you're making her go and let her choose to go. She might have more accidents, but that's the only way she's going to properly feel that she needs to go and then see the consequence of not going. What you're doing at the moment is toilet timing i.e. she's not learning to toilet independently, you're learning how frequently she needs the loo/her body language and toileting for her. Nothing wrong with that if it works for you, but she's not potty trained.

The poo thing is quite normal. Lots of reassurance before and during and then praise afterwards. Just tell her poos aren't scary! She doesn't need to be scared. 'Everybody poos. Babies poo in a nappy like you used to and big girls like you and mummy poo in the toilet etc.'

We are also on day 4 today, we can do this 💪 DS tells us he needs to go wee like 30 times a day atm. the smallest trinklet we are on the potty. Only accidents this end are with poo.
He won't say he needs to poop and just does it, so trying to get him on potty quickly when he starts so he can maybe realise poo also needs to happen in potty

there's a free e book called poo goes home to pooland that might help.

and for perspective mastering poos and wees are a completely separate skill, dd was good with wees reasonably quickly but was pooing her pants for weeks and weeks.

Sounds like she's doing pretty well!
I had to literally hold my daughters hand for the first few days while she was on the potty - she was also saying she was scared of poo. Heaps of praise and the promise she could pick out a big new toy did the trick!

Thanks. I think she maybe seems slightly less scared of pooing. Although still no recognition she needs to go so I'm cleaning a lot of dirty pants - as long as she's not too terrified I'm not worried, I'm sure she'll get there eventually.

She still doesn't really get when she needs a wee either, although as long as we take her to the potty regularly there aren't many accidents. I have tried leaving it longer between taking her so she as a few a accidents, but starts to recognise the feeling of needing to go. How long does this process normally take? I feel like we may as well persevere at this point, but if she still isn't really recognising that feeling is she just not ready? This is day 7 now.

I have heard lots of people recommending oh crap boom for potty training. I have just started reading in anticipation of starting potty training.

I think that you may as well persevere afer a week. I trained DS recently and something clicked on day 15 and the only accidents we had after that were at nursery when distracted by playing.

On your first problem, we had that. I gave it aaaages, and then on the advice of a thread I had on here, I gave up. I decided this isn't potty training if she's not clocking she needs to go.

I gave it a few months, and we'd cracked it within a few days, when she just suddenly 'got' the feeling of needing to go.