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First Mother’s Day

51 replies

Pickles31 · 31/03/2019 05:53

It’s my first mother’s Day as a mum ( my mum passed away 7 years ago now) and I know this sounds silly but would u be annoyed if your husband bought u card from ur son but then also got a card from my son to his grandma saying happy mother’s day grandma on it? I don’t know why but I feel annoyed about it as it’s my first Mother’s Day and already I feel like I’m sharing it, I find it hard anyway without my mum and I don’t want to get into a thing where every mother’s day she is expecting something not only from her son but also her grandson. Or am I being silly and is it cute? I can tell hubby got the card cos he thought was cute even tho it’s annoyed me. I’m not sure what to do, do I be honest with hubby and say I don’t want to give her a card from my son or do I just let it go and let him give her this card?

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hopelesslyromantic93 · 31/03/2019 07:49

We just had our first daughter in December and we actually got my mum and DPs mum a special gift each from her. I also sent my nana so her great nana a card with some pictures of DD on. I genuinely never even thought it was weird or that it took away from my first mothers day at all! Confused

SoyDora · 31/03/2019 07:49

This isn’t something we do but no, I wouldn’t be annoyed. Your MIL getting a card from your son doesn’t take anything away from you, it’s an ‘extra’. You’re still his mum.

hopelesslyromantic93 · 31/03/2019 07:51

Sorry OP, I somehow missed that you had lost your mum. I can see how difficult the day must be for you. Hope you have a lovely mothers day and enjoy the snuggles with your little one!

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Princessmama18 · 31/03/2019 07:53

Firstly if it upsets you then you should tell him.

Either way is fine, it's personal choice but we don't buy for grandparents, it's mothers day not grandparents day!!! Confused isn't there a grandparents day in October? Confused

ZsaZsaMc · 31/03/2019 07:54

I wouldn’t let it ruin your day (but I do understand where you are coming from). I’d mention it next year in advance so it doesn’t become a yearly thing.

AuntMarch · 31/03/2019 07:54

My first will be next year. I was only wondering as I wrote my mum's card this morning whether it would be the done thing to get a grandma one next year. But actually, I think it would still be just to my mum, from me. I think it would nice to hold on to recognising that specific relationship and not everything in life being about the baby!
But I'd have no issue with my babys father doing it for his mum if that's what he thought she would like. As long as I don't have to physically share the day with her I won't begrudge her a card it makes her smile.

BillywilliamV · 31/03/2019 07:57

Why not let your DH do what he feels is right, it’s his Baby too?

MadeForThis · 31/03/2019 08:04

It wouldn't annoy me. I wouldn't feel like it's taken anything away from my day. But we don't do it. Both grandparents are alive they get special birthday and Christmas cards.

To me Mother's Day is to thank my mother for everything she does for me.

Was extremely confused when DH asked if he should sign my name also in HIS Mother's Day card after we got married. ffs she didn't raise me!!

veeboo · 31/03/2019 08:08

I'd think, "what a thoughtful DP"!

ZsaZsaMc · 31/03/2019 09:22

It’s my first mother’s day and my DH has signed the card from him and DS - which i find weird because I’m not HIS mother!

Honestly they have the strangest ideas!!

Meandmetoo · 31/03/2019 09:27

Wouldn't, doesn't and hasn't bothered me in the slightest op. Kindly, I think your circumstances are making you feel a bit more fragile.

It's not taking anything away from you, everyone knows you are your DC mum, it's just a nice gesture to granny. That's really all it is.

BendingSpoons · 31/03/2019 09:27

I think you are splitting hairs a bit. I have always bought my mum a card and a small present. Since having DD I make it from her too e.g. I'll get her to make a card, put her name first. Presumably your DP would have still got his mum a card and he just thought that one was cute.

SherlockSays · 31/03/2019 09:33

They wouldn't sell the cards if people didn't also celebrate them. I have always bought my nanna a card and present for Mother's Day and we've done the same with DD this year for her grandparents (it's my first Mother's Day too) I don't resent it at all Hmm

Hollowvictory · 31/03/2019 09:36

Normal.
Do you know what, love and kindness is not in finite supply. Just because he guves some to grandma doesn't mean there is less for you. Grow up.

Science9 · 31/03/2019 09:47

I always got DS to give my mum a card on Mother's Day. I thought that was normal! Grans are mums too so i don't see why it would be a problem. I also can't understand how that would impact you. I was a single parent for 7 years so I never got a card, present or fuss made of me on Mother's Day but I always used the day to reflect on how grateful I am to be a mum and have a healthy child

redwoodmazza · 31/03/2019 09:58

No way would I give a card to a grandmother on Mothers' Day.
It's just a commercial ploy.

Chinks123 · 31/03/2019 10:08

We give cards to his mum and my mum from dd...as does everyone I know, I never thought it was weird.

My mum is obviously a mother, so gets a card from me, but she has become a grandmother and deserves a card as she has helped me massively.

Everyone in the card shop was getting “nana/nanny/grandma” cards so people obviously do celebrate it. Your dp thought it would be nice, and I’m sure his mum will appreciate it.

InsertFunnyUsername · 31/03/2019 10:10

I have never given my nanna a card for mothers day. And would find it strange if my partner started doing.

But as you can tell by this thread, A lot of people find it normal, speak to him OP i dont think you are being unreasonable.

WinkysTeatowel · 31/03/2019 10:12

I'm in the no cards for Grandma's camp. I give my Mum a card from me but not from my DC.
It's is Mother's Day.
Grandparents day is 6th Oct this year if you particularly want to celebrate it.

Do those that send from DC also send one from themselves?

Processedpea · 31/03/2019 10:12

We took my mum out yesterday for mothers day and have always got her cards etc from the kids it's nice to be nice Smile

Chinks123 · 31/03/2019 10:15

@WinkysTeatowel

Do those that send from DC also send one from themselves?

Yes I buy one saying mum, and dd gets one saying grandma, or makes her one. It’s the way we’ve always done it, yesterday we went to see my grandma and my own mum wrote in her card, as did me and dd.

It’s not grandparents day, but I think some people see it as ‘she’s a mum, who made my mum, who made me’ etc.

WinkysTeatowel · 31/03/2019 10:23

I've no objection to others doing it but we never have (or did when I was growing up).

WhiskersPete · 31/03/2019 11:37

I’m with you OP.

The point is that it’s difficult being a mum as you have to do the hard bits so mother’s day is to say thanks for this.

Being a grandmother isn’t hard as you get to just do all the nice bits!

Fantababy · 31/03/2019 12:45

We always gave our gparents a card for mothers' and Fathers' Day when I was young and I'm in my 40s so it can't be that new a concept.
This year I've given my mum a mum card from me and DH (as she's his MIL) and a granny card from the DDs. Also flowers for MIL from us all as we're too far away to see her.
I don't really mind if card companies make money.

ValleyoftheHorses · 31/03/2019 12:52

I get a card and present from DS. DM and DMIL both get a card from me/ DH and a card from DS and a present from us all. Totally normal.

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