Tips for two under 2

[notanaturalmum]

I'll soon be giving birth and I already have a 20 month old.
I expect our routine will go out the window so just looking for tips on how to deal with both. I imagine I'll be using the sling a lot.
Maybe it's just common sense like bath them both at the same time and feed baby whilst reading toddler story so DH can sort dinner.
But yeah tips please on how I can get through this as I'm petrified of going back to the times where I didn't manage to brush my teeth till 4pm.

Anybody ?????

Not sure how helpful this will be but I have an 18 month fall.

I went for extreme organisation and had a huge smug textathon the day I finally managed to get out of the house before 10am.

I think it helps to accept that all that lovely control and bonding time you have with the first one isn't going to happen second time around - but it doesn't really matter, it'll be fine.

Go to playgroups/meet friends etc and accept that you'll be late - getting out the house will be hard but totally worth it. Give your baby to anyone who asks if they can help. I never did this with ds1 but when ds2 pitched up it made things so much easier - other mums wanting a cuddle, leaders at playgroup, friends, anyone. Doing everything one handed is all very well but why struggle?

I couldn't leave the toddler alone with the baby so toilet trips were a two or three person event except at weekends or if I could ask someone to help if out and about (never did this with ds1 when he was a baby).

My toddler got the same dinner as me and we ate while I bf the baby. I batched at the weekend for the first few months so I just had to reheat - DH had to take them so I could do this (he could have cooked but I was happy to say bye bye to the wee buggers by then ).

Ds1 always got read to while ds2 fed if we were at home - we all cuddled up on the sofa so he wasn't left out.

I washed myself at night so I always got a wash - mornings were too hectic.

I slept when I could - my mood is shit when I'm tired and my DH was never home so time to myself was sacrificed for sleep - so worth it.

I didn't bath them at the same time. I did the baby in the sink with the toddler watching, got the baby ready for bed then took them both upstairs to do the toddler's bath, leaving the imobile baby at the door so they didn't get wet. Get the toddler washed and into bed stuff then read bedtime story while feeding the baby. Got them both into bed then had a wash myself and went to bed.

Oh, and ds1 brushed my teeth while I did his :-).

You'll be fine. Good luck.

Get them ready for bed early. Mine always got tired and cranky and if I had to put either down to change the other, there was crying.

Oh god @youmeandconchitawurst
This is everything I'm fearing. I hadn't even thought about needing the loo when out with both of them.

Okay this is all useful advice. Thankyou so much.
I know I'll settle into some sort of rhythm at some point but I kind of want to manage my expectations.

I would actually try and keep the routine you have as much as possible. The new baby will just have to slot in!

Take shortcuts where needed/if possible - use premade formula or pouches/disposable nappies/the TV as a babysitter etc. Do what you have to do to get through.

Make sure you have somewhere you can leave each of them securely! Get gates/locks on the door/playpen/bouncer whatever works, but make sure you can secure the baby in one room and toddler in another to help with going to the loo/answering the door/doing anything! Even if they're crying....sometimes to be able to just put them somewhere safe and go for a wee/scream into a pillow is a life saver!

It will be hard, but it will get easier quickly (although it may not feel that quick in the midst of it!)

Agree totally with nuffsaid.

And yes, baby prison is a must, either to put the baby in so the toddler can't get to it, or to put the toddler in so it can't try for the stairs when you change the baby's nappy!

The only things I felt I got right were: buying a double buggy (I had some weird delusion that my ds1 was going to walk everywhere that I didn't dispel until I had two kids, one buggy and extreme frustration), and my DH had two weeks of leave (which he took on weeks 2/3 after my DM had left). I used his second week to make a schedule that worked for ds1 ds2 and me. I didn't give shit about his needs or routine - he could fit in. I was on operation survival.

The weird thing is that it was all ok. My sons love each other, and it all seems a long time ago. Really, it'll be fine. Just keep calm and do whatever you need to do to get by - TV, formula, pom bears and whatever else goes - none of it will feel that critical with the benefit of hindsight.

Routine.

Sleep when your babies sleep.

Let housework slide

Playpen.

You'll be fine.