Parent separation anxiety?

[Mumtoone18]

I feel at a dead end at the moment and I just need a bit of advice or reassurance to tell me I am not the only one who has gone through something like this.

My LO is just over a year and I am still BF him. He won’t go to sleep in the day or night unless I feed him to sleep unless he is in pram or car. This doesn’t bother me as he isn’t a clingy baby he is very independent so when he wants his milk I get my cuddles and time to bond and it won’t last forever. However I don’t know if the feeding or the birth or just me in general has made me feel so very anxious about being away from him.

I have spent no more than maybe 5 half days away from him over the past year and as much as I could really do with a few hours break or time to get on with the million things I need to do I just can’t bring myself to be apart from him and I feel like I am actually going mad. I’m worried he might be fed something and choke because it hasn’t been cut how I would do it or he might fall and bang his head or if he will just want me or my milk or my comfort and I won’t be there. I feel more crazy now I’m writing it than I did thinking about it all.

Even when we go out together alone I am constantly panicking about something happening to him when we are in a big crowd like shopping for example or in public transport at rush hour.

When will this end? What can I do it’s making me feel miserable from being worried all the time. I’m suffering from migraines at the same time every single day and I’m putting that down to being so stressed from feeling anxious. I know I’m supposed to love and care for my baby but surely this is way to much I mean when I look at him I can just burst out in tears because my love for him is so strong and I’m so proud of him. I just want to feel normal.

I think it's worth visiting your GP to discuss your anxiety, especially if you are worrying about things like being on public transport. Do you have a partner? Or family who could help with the baby?

I just feel so silly and don’t know where it has all come from. For example I was waiting for a tram today and I kept thinking someone was going to push the pram onto the tracks so I went and stood all the way at the back. I might go and see a GP as I can’t go on like this. I have a very close knitted family and they are all so good with him and my partner is amazing with him but I just worry they won’t do things how I do and if he cries or needs me I won’t be able to comfort him if I’m not there and that makes my heart hurt. God I sound stupid

My dc are 3 and 5 now and I have always been very anxious about leaving them. At 1 I had only ever left them with dp or my sister (although we didn't have lots of baby sitting options). I have had pretty bad anxiety problems in the past but had been well for a long time when I had dc, it seemed to return in a specific way when I had ds- like an exaggeration of normal. Now they are older I am much better, I have to force myself and am probably over protective but not way above normal I don't think.

X posted with you op. When ds was tiny I had a dream that someone pushed his pram off a bridge-hideous, but it made way for awful intrusive thoughts about him falling from bridges. Because of my anxiety problems in the past I can recognise the normal new mum anxiety from my anxiety driven thoughts. I said I would go to the gp if I ever avoided certain walks home, or let it actually impact on my life (other than the horrible anxiety feeling).

You don't sound stupid at all. I'm having similar thoughts, as my 15 month old has started a few sessions of nursery. What if he doesn't like the food? What if they forget he can't use one of the supply cups yet and he doesn't drink enough? What if they leave his coat on inside and he gets too hot? What if he misses me and they can't calm him down?

I think (!) these are all fairly normal concerns to have. But if you find these thoughts taking up all of your time, or cycling through your head - particularly the ones about him coming to harm - it might be a good idea to have a chat with your GP. I think some level of anxiety will always be there, but it should be be ruling your life x

I get it! My baby is 9 months old. I've left him once, for a couple of hours with dp. I was anxious the entire time and had a horrible couple of hours out. I cannot bring myself to leave him again, and I'm planning on going back to work part time soon! I've been to the doctors and mentioned anxiety but no help as of yet. Hope you can get help with this, I know how horrible it can be.

You sound like me this time last year I had pnd. She only had to get something as small as nappy rash and I’d be convinced it was something serious. I wouldn’t let her leave my side incase something happened. DD is now 2 and it has got a lot better but still rears it’s ugly head occasionly but I can now tell myself I’m being irrational and calm down quite quickly. I also work from home but put her in nursery 1 day a week this was for my benefit really so I could get my head around not being with her 24/7. It’s hard and really scary I would maybe speak to a doctor or some counselling if possible it well get better it just takes time

Hello,
I'm quite new to this and I've never posted before so I hope your all well.
My issue is separation anxiety but not in the case of my child is too clingy and I don't know what to do, my issue is the other way round !. I'm a single parent and have been since she was born. My husband walked out before she was born so it's been just me and her for the past ten years. I don't go out much and when I go to work she comes with me. We're very close but as she's getting older obviously she wants to sleep over at friends houses and in June she's going on a residential holiday with school and the prospect is making me feel ill. She's now saying " if you don't want me to go mum I won't " and I haven't foisted my anxiety on her I've said no no you go and have loads of fun 😊 and I want her to experience life in all she can but I feel horrendous when she's not there. I have had miscarriages before and after she was born and I'm thinking maybe I'm just too over protective and need to get a grip of myself 😂 but can anyone tell me if they have felt like this before?? Thankyou x