Housing advice for dad on benefits

[22dad2be]

Hi all first time posting going to keep it short, I'm 22, m, on ESA due to Autism and claiming housing benefit, private renting. I've been out of work for 7 months now.

Girlfriend is 18, 5 weeks pregnant, be 19 when she gives birth, working anywhere between 10 and 39 hours a week, lives at home with her parents.

I've been trying to get work for 7 months but I haven't even been called for an interview, I went to a meeting today at a community center set up by job center to talk about jobs and training to get into different types of work. Whilst there I asked if my girlfriend could move into my 1 bed flat with the new baby and I was told because she works I will lose ESA, HB and council tax benefit. Which then means we can't afford to live here and she doesn't earn enough to pay rent and bills.

Her parents home has 6 adults including her and a dog it is very crowded, it's not the ideal place to raise a baby but may be the only option. Believe me I'm doing everything I can to get a job that pays enough to private rent a place for us 3 and my 2 dogs.

What are our options? Obviously I want to get a job but as I actively am looking and I'm having other people also look for me I can't do much else to hurry that along. I want to be with the baby every second I can get and even though we have months to sort this I just want a plan I can stick to now so I'm not worrying. Can a baby be raised happily while the parents are living apart but still together? Her family is huge, cousins, aunties, uncles all of that coming out of her ear holes so the baby will be surrounded by people who love him/her that's not my concern, I just don't want to lose quality time

Please let me know if you need any more info about our situations

Your obvious option would be for you to be a stay at home dad once her maternity leave ends. Is she happy at her job? Have you used the entitled to calculator to see what you would get as a family of three?

Your benefits would change but it's likely youd be eligible for help. Just different help.

Yes a baby can be raised with parents living apart but still together but most people choose not to live apart

If she moved into yours would she get any maternity pay?

You have to think of it as households rather than people- there's two households right now which is why you are eligible for benefits as nobody works in yours

If you move in together, there is only one household

You will get child benefit after the baby, she may get maternity pay, you may still get some disability benefit but the amount will change if someone's working in your household to be less, you may still get some benefits but you will definitely get less if she is working.

You'd need to claim Universal Credit as a couple. Check one of the benefit calculators to get an idea of what your joint entitlement will be.

(Assuming your ESA is income based.)

Just a little thought on the 'quality time' - lots of dads who are living with their children don't see them much during the week due to working early and/or until after their bedtimes. So even living apart you may see more of your child than some dads who live with their children. The most important thing is that the child feels safe and secure, exact living arrangements aren't that important. Can't advise on the rest of it but good luck with the job hunt.