Preparing for a 2nd child

[adunato]

Hi Everyone,

We just found out that we are expecting a 2nd child. We just started TTC so we're super excited but also feeling a bit unprepared as frankly we thought it would take us longer to succeed.

Our DS is 13 mo and while things are going well so far neither my wife or I feel lots of extra energy to cope with the process of having a new baby. My wife is not working at the moment however we have no family or close friends close to home that can provide help.

So my first question is, are there any strategies you have used to create a support network around you to make it easier to cope with the early days of parenthood?

For the full-time parents out there, was there anything that the working parent did that really made a difference for you? I try to do most of the chores and take the lead over childcare at bedtime and part of the weekend but I worry that newborn + toddler + dog will be a lot to deal with.

Thanks!

I went to NCT with each of my DC, mainly for the support of other pregnant women more than anything else. There’s a group of us who still meet up regularly several years later.
We also got our supermarket shop delivered to take the pressure off going ourselves.
Breastfeeding was tricky in the first few weeks. Well, chaos, really! To begin with my eldest was very inquisitive about what I was doing with her brother and wanted to constantly touch him, so I stashed a couple of books and we started reading them. From about two weeks she paid minimum attention to what I was doing and got on with playing.
Babywearing was a godsend the second time round. Even around the house, I had my youngest in a sling a lot of the time, which left my hands free for looking after my toddler.
Some parents consider potty training around two years old but with a new baby, this could put too much pressure on everyone. Take your time and don’t feel you have to rush into any new baby milestones.
Your goal is to survive the first few months by focusing on the essentials and taking care of your children’s needs. It doesn’t matter if your house is more chaotic and not as clean as it once was.
Even if you’re trying your best, there will be days that you think your marriage is imploding.
Try to be as flexible as you can about each day and what really matters. It’s also really important to take time out and take care of yourself.

Thanks for taking the time to write this up. Loads of nice advice. Imploding marriage feelings and fight for survival are familiar feelings from the first time round but I have the feeling that a second child will take these to a whole new level lol.