3yr old sensory issues

[jonnyr1986]

Hi,

Desperately seeking advice, our 3 (nearly 4) year old daughter is currently going through massive sensory issues. Literally every single day we have tantrum after tantrum when trying to get her changed. She refuses to wear anything - pants, socks and tights are especially the worst, however it is now moving onto pretty much anything. As soon as try and get her dressed, she goe's into a full meltdown and is inconsolable. Everything "doesn't feel right". We know these tantrums are not her fault, and we have tried everything, sympathy, reasoning, distraction. Nothing seems to work. Every morning we have to allow for 2 hours for her to get dressed for school. Now her school has reported she is having the same issues there.

We are considering talking to a therapist, but hoping someone has had similar issues and give us any advice!

Just to point out, other than us getting slightly frustrated at times, we try not to shout at her or discipline her to much when she has these meltdowns, as from what we have read, they are different from a normal tantrum and not their fault, they just can;t handle their emotions.

My wife is at breaking point now though and it is driving her to tears every day. It has go to the point now where she pretty much doesn't wear clothes in the house, and apart from school etc we are having to avoid even going out.

Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks

M and s sell clothes with out seems in their disability friendly clothes. I’m not at all suggesting your child has autism but an autism charity maybe able to help.

Hi, Thanks for the reply. I will definitely look into the M&S clothes, although we have bought seamless pants etc for her before and they didn't seem to make any difference :-( The autism route may be something we need to look into

I have two with autism (9 and 6) and both have sensory issues. Youngest at 3 would not wear any and I mean any type of shoe for a year. She was barefoot. I’ve found issues around clothes generally stems from other anxiety. Although the clothes may cause issues when stressed my eldest especially finds she is super sensitive and everything is itchy. It might be worth doing a sensory profile. The autism education test have one you can download for free to make up a profile of her sensory needs. We go for as seamless as possible. H&M also do some good cotton clothes which seems to help.

How does she find school? Also, is she like this in the holidays? You might want to look at activities that will fit her sensory profile and might calm her. We do a lot of heavy work, push and pull work and it helps regulate the nervous system. Depending on how long it has been going on and it might well be a phase unless there are additional issues at play that an OT might be beneficial. Especially one who has a good understanding of sensory issues.

Hi Kate, Thanks for your reply. Some great advice, and i will download that test and go from there. With regards to school etc, once we eventually get her into clothes and socks and shoes, which literally does take an hour or more of horrific tantrums and crying, she is then fine. She loves school, interacts with all the kids and is usually a bubbly happy girl. She is the same in the mornings whether it is a Sunday, or a school day. It doesn't seem to make any difference.
We can;t take her swimming anymore, because it is absolutely impossible to get her changed after back into her clothes. It seems to be getting worse unfortunately now as well, it used to be a couple of days a week and a couple of days with no issues, but now it is every day

She sounds really similar to my dd. Her sensory issues really peaked around 3. Leaving the house was a nightmare.
Initially I didn't understand what was going on and thought it was stroppy 3 year old behaviour.
The book The Highly Sensitive Child is an interesting read.
Dd had major issues with clothes at 3 and also problems with some noises and situations. Hers definitely was exacerbated by anxiety due to I'll health and several hospital stays.
I was very concerned about how she would cope with school and ended up getting her some sessions with a Play Therapist. She was amazing, so kind to dd and really helped me understand what was going on.

It is much better for all of you if you can find a few items of clothing that she feels comfortable with and stick with them.
My dd hated new clothes and anything stiff or structured. She particularly hated socks. In the winter she would tolerate them inside out I it was very cold but most of the time she didn't wear socks.
Indoors she always stripped to her underwear and bare feet.

This book is very good for helping explore sensory issues

Similar experience with my v v sensitive (tested but not autistic- but anxiety and sensory issues) DD and aged 3 was a very defiant time.

She had 3 dresses that she wore pretty much on rotation for about 6 months. Big floaty, hardly touching her cotton dresses and mostly barefoot- though I made her stay in the buggy or car unless she put something on her feet- crocs/ wellies- something. Then it was a reward system for items worn until she built up to basically wearing proper clothes- underwear, sleeves when cold, maybe a raincoat. She still refuses, aged 9, seams, labels, anything done up, hats, scarves, big coats etc but she at least will wear layers. It's hard- you have my sympathies for the battles.