Taking one child on holiday and leaving the others at home...

[BirthdayKake]

I want to not feel guilty about this, but obviously I do! The circumstances are as follows:

I have four DC who don't have contact with their father. I don't want to go into details but basically he doesn't know where we are (he was abusive, sometimes violent, took drugs, drank far too much, didn't do much parenting etc etc). They last saw him (contact wise) in June 2017.

I am now remarried and expecting a baby in July. We took my DC on holiday once, two years ago, before I knew that technically you are supposed to have a letter of permission from the other parent. We obviously got away with it.

I have a different surname now and I don't dare try again; I know lots of people risk it but I don't want to open up a can of worms, or lose all that money, or disappoint the kids if we're not allowed on the flight.

But at the same time I have always been abroad and so has DH (ex was never bothered) and it's sad that we may never be able to take our baby away, unless we leave the others at home.

We can afford it as it would be in term time and obviously baby would be free. I was thinking when she is around 8 months old, so next March. We're taking all five DC to Butlins in October which they're very excited about.

What would everyone else do? :(

But this won’t be a one off holiday will it?

Next year and the year after and the year after etc you will be insisting you go away with your new dh and new dc and leave the old ones behind.

Sort it out and take some legal advice and put foreign holidays on hold until you can all go away together.

I only have one son, and not in a position like you are, but if I had more children now with my new partner, there's not a chance in hell that I'd leave my son and take the new baby! Sorry but attachment etc might be damaged! even if they are older. It would be harsh for them!

Troll 😂😂

Been round these 'ere parts since 2006 sugartits. Guess I hit a nerve?

 think you touched a nerve @MonkeyfaceThereturn?

Have you considered getting parental responsibility for your DH? It would be in addition to your ex, you couldn't remove his PR but once your DH has PR, would you need consent from your ex?

Not only are you suggesting going abroad with your new family, but also leaving them to go to school!
"Have fun at school kids, we're off for some sun and pool time!"

No you don’t need permission. I’ve taken mine abroad several times and my ex has also taken them, with no letter from either of us.

You know you can take them. This is an excuse not to!

DH changed his surname to mine when he married me

DSD changed her surname name to her mothers at the same time

DH takes his deed poll, DSD deed poll (in effect showing they both had the same name at one point) and passports - in the 5times we have been abroad, We have never been asked to show these docs or asked for a letter from her mother!

Take ur marriage cert and passports - there is very little need to worry!

I wouldn't. I'd wait till the baby can be left behind if anything, and do an adults only holiday. Also probably wouldn't go for a week, perhaps a long weekend 3/4 nights. I think it's quite a long time to leave your kids with someone else.

Do you have a formal residence order? I’m sure mine permits me to take my son on holiday for up to 4 weeks without permission.,

Children dont need to go abroad on holiday , they dont even need to go on holiday . They do need to know they are treated equally by their parents

Good evening all.

I feel in a horrible position right now.
Last family holiday we went on my DD aged 15 didn't enjoy the holiday (villa with pool)
She didn't like flying etc so has stated she would not go abroad again.

We have planned to book a late deal for half term (whit week) and she is refusing to come. Cries when we ask her, try to talk about it etc.
I feel super guilty about even talking about leaving her behind. She is happy to stay with my mum. Or her dad (as we are separated) I have two boys. One has same dad and one has different dad.
They are OK with it being her choice to stay behind but.....
I'm not sure I could actually go.
What are your thoughts?
I planned on doing a special weekend with her in the UK (theme park etc)