Long term Bullying

[rednosty]

Hello I am seeking advice as a single Father. My son is 15 with special needs and attends a local special needs school (My son is Near the top of the Special needs school but would be bottom of mainstream). For the past three years he has been bullied by one child (Toughest child in the school) At first He came home complaining about stomach pains. Which I weeks later found out he was being punched in the stomach every Monday. He then took a YEAR out of school until I finally managed to get him back into school again All this time social serivces were blaming the reason on him not going to school on Us Parents (We had a fight about a month before he started staying off and are now divorcing) The simple fact is Social services did not believe us. So forward to this year And My boy starts telling me this boy has done this and that and Shoulder bargers, and generally Verbally abusing my son Threatening to Kill him. So three years on and School and Social serivces have basically done Nothing. School said they keep an eye on things (I wonder how long that lasted) So it was time for me to act, I confronted this bully (Yes I Know it was wrong I should have spoken to the parents first) Just saying Stop messing with My sons Mind! At which point teenage hormones kicked of and he stomped down a corridor in the direction of where my son was looking like he was ready to fight so I followed at which point this boy turned around and caught me off guard but pushed me against a wall. Now the point of me telling you this is if he can do that to a fully grown adult what would he do to my son? So now we are back at square one with my son staying off and I'm in a place between the devil and the deep blue sea. Persuede my son to go and put him in Danger Or stay at home with Social serivces obviously pushing me to get him to school. THE OBVIOUS answer would be to ban the bully (But they wont as he has his own special needs) Next answer? Change shcools but it's a speical eneds school and places are not easy to find locally. There is nothing for miles around so What can I do?

I read your post and didn't want to read and run but have no direct experience. Don't confront the bully you are getting nowhere and accusations might arise as you are an adult. The first suggestion would be to change schools but you have said that this would be difficult (could you get any support with transport?) I think my nephew with special needs was taking a taxi to school at one point. The other option I suppose is to home school, not ideal - I think my brother did this for a while with his son but it was better for him to be back at school in this case (for both parties). Will he move on to another school at 16 - or will there be other options available? Or it is possible to request that they don't come into contact - is there more than one class? I feel like the staff should be supporting you a bit more with this, it could become a safeguarding issue. Hopefully someone with a bit more experience will come along or try posting on the SEN board, I'm not sure if there is a section for bullying related threads. Good luck, I hope something gets sorted soon.

OP. Get him to other school, he may be at the bottom in mainstream but at least he wouldn’t have to fear for his safety every day he goes to school.

Sometimes it is ok to give up and accept that is NOT the right school for your kid. If the bully can attack you, what would he do to your kid when no one is looking? Get him out of there pronto.