Should I contact him?

[IfIcouldturnbacktime217]

Me and lo daddy have been split since she was a few weeks old since then he has been quite inconsistent with seeing her.

At first I allowed him to come over whenever he wanted to, which quickly ended up just a weekend. He then wanted set times, so we agreed he could take her every Saturday and Sunday, which he has struggled to stick to due to a mixture of reasons: work, not well, argued with me so decided not to, had to visit family etc.

He was meant to come round on her first birthday after work but couldn't come as had an important call to make, would of been too late afterwards!
We argued 2 weeks ago as he wasn't happy I hadn't answered his calls ( busy with the baby) this is the third weekend since then he has no showed! He text me last week being quite abusive saying to have lo ready Saturday morning, which I did but he never came. I tx Sunday asking if he planned on not coming again, no reply. Then this weekend I've not heard a thing.
Should I tx or just leave him to it?
He threatens me with court all the time, not sure what he expects from that as he has set times but doesn't stick to them

I wouldn't contact him personally but I'd get something in order with the courts I'd he wants access to little one. It's not nice him been abusive and it also sounds like he's neglectful to child by not taking her. This comes from soemone who disowned her parents my dad sounds like him never bothered at all. But by all do what you think is best for you and your baba

The thought of going to court makes me sick with worry 😢
I believe he is neglectful too, but he acts such the doting dad I just know he's making out to people it's me stopping her or something. I've kept all his text though so at least I can prove it that way.
Sorry to hear that @ user1496701154 you disowned both your parents? How old was you when you did this?

Does anybody have any experience of this?
I feel I shouldn't contact him but worried could that go against me if he tried to take me to court?
Don't know what to do for the best

If he wants to see her then he should be contacting you to arrange access. Keep a list of all the times he has failed to turned up and when he has actually turned up.

If he can’t be arsed to turn up then he won’t be arsed to pay money to take you to court where they will say he should have set visiting time not too different from your current arrangement.

Make sure you are claiming child maintenance.

I understand that am am not forcing you to do anything you are not comfortable with. Only suggestion what I think is best for both of you.14 for my dad and 21 for my mam.