Just need to talk!

[Suzidooz]

No idea if this is the right place to post this kind of thing but...

LO is 6 weeks old tomorrow. The last week she has been a completely different baby. She won't sleep unless settled to sleep, and by that I mean rocked in arms and once she's in a deep sleep and we move her to her crib or anywhere else she's awake within minutes. She's fussing constantly, acting like she's hungry when she's actually just tired (her cues for both are very similar). She cries all the time and it's a cry I've not heard before, extremely loud and distressed. We check all her needs are met but there's never really an explanation for it. The first 3 weeks she was brilliant, I felt really on top of things, we were happy to take her out and about to meet people, and we were happily plodding on with our new lives. This week has been the total opposite. I literally feel like I'm stuck to the sofa constantly, and I can't even go for a wee without her crying. The house is a tip (not the end of the world I know) and I've not been out the house all week because of how unsettled she is. She won't settle on a walk, in her bouncer, with white noise, nothing apart from being rocked in someone's arms. She will fall asleep in the car but as soon as you go to transfer her somewhere else all hell breaks loose. Appreciate that having a baby completely changes your life and things are very different to before, but I literally feel I cannot do anything I enjoyed previously at the fear of being labeled a terrible mum with a fussy baby who isn't being looked after. I feel so trapped at home, my husband plays rugby on Saturdays and the whole family go to watch, I miss watching terribly and I know how much he wants us there but I feel like we can't go because of the drama it'll cause with her. I see all the other mums there with their babies and I long to be able to do that. We have several friends who have had babies a week or two after us and their social media pages are filled with trips out and about and all lovely things and I don't feel like we can do any of it. Please tell me this is just a phase and it gets better or am I trapped at home for the next x amount of months? Sorry long post but 😥

EDIT: Just thought I'd add, she is perfectly healthy, feeds well, gaining weight, lots of wet and dirty nappies etc etc. Just a fussy stubborn little mare. It took us 5 years to get to this with 4 cycles of ivf, I am completely devoted to her and she is everything to me and my husband but I am seriously struggling this week.

Babies go through lots of phases , I might get flamed but if you haven't already try a dummy -and get yourself a good baby wrap so she can be on you and you've still got your arms free. I'd give the rugby a go - it's hard work but for me personally it was easier when they were new -good luck

It’s a phase and it will pass. Personally I wouldn’t let it stop you from going out. If you went to watch your DH play rugby for instance, so what if she cries a bit, it probably doesn’t seem that way to you but newborns crying really aren’t loud and there would be lots of family there to take turns rocking her. You’d probably feel so much better for it. And I guarantee you that your friends babies will fuss and cry occasionally whilst they’re out and about too.

6 weeks is still such early days. It’s really normal for them to be fussy at this age. Don’t feel bad taking her out when she’s crying. No one will judge you. Babies cry, it’s what they do. For what it’s worth I found it better getting out of the house with ds1 (screaming colic nightmare he was!) as the crying didn’t sound so loud outside and he would often nod off after a while.

I found the first few months of being a mum SO HARD. I felt like I’d lost who I was and thought I’d never enjoy things I used to again. It will come. You will get into a routine with her and life will feel normal again. It might not be completely as it was but it will be a new normal and you will definitely be able to do things you enjoy and have nice days out.

I have 2 now, a 21 month old and a 3 month old and while it is not easy managing 2 babies we still have a great life and we are by no means stuck indoors all the time.

You will get there. It’s going to get massively easier soon. 3 months was a turning point for me. It got easier again at 6 months, then a year. It gets better all the time.

Oh and 6-7 weeks is peak crying. It’s going to get less and less as the weeks go on

What minai said + remember your pals won't be posting pictures of the crap bits they are having on social media!