10 week old baby is miserable all the time - when will it get easier?

[Pelly8]

Hello

My DS (first child) is 10 weeks old and I feel like he is constantly unhappy.

He had quite bad colic from 3 weeks (at least I think it was colic) but he is now burping and farting quite easily however still cries most of the day. He only seems to be content in the mornings for about 20 minutes but is otherwise feeding/crying or napping. The only time he seems ok is when I am holding him with his chest resting on my shoulder.

He absolutely hates going out. He hates getting in a pramsuit, hates his pram and hates the sling (although he will fall asleep in the sling when I get walking).

Funnily enough, he sleeps well through the night (7:30pm-6:30am and only wakes for a feed twice).

I try and sing to him/rock him/ make faces etc but it’s so hard getting him to even smile. I was told it would all get easier at ten weeks but the fact that he seems so unhappy makes it seem so much harder.

What am I doing wrong? Is he just a grumpy old soul? He sometimes only feeds for a few minutes at a time but is gaining weight so he must be getting enough breast milk.

I feel like he’s never going to be content and I’m not sure how to make him happy!

Any tips would be much appreciated!

From my experience this isn't normal, so I can't say it will just pass. Could he have reflux or some issue feeding thats causing him distress, do you think?

Sounds like it might be reflux, especially if he's very unhappy when lying down. The feeding for a few minutes at a time sounds like he's trying to soothe the acid burning with milk.

@CrazyOldBagLady and @Kariana I thought it might be reflux at first as he was spitting up a lot and the GP gave me infant gaviscon which was impossible to give. However, he stopped spitting up as much from 6 weeks onwards and only spits up about once or twice a day after feeds so I assumed the reflux just passed?

I got him checked for oral thrush and tongue tie and he doesn’t have either of those.

The health visitor said he seemed fine (he’s always perfectly content around health professionals) but I might take him to the GP again to see if he’s ok.

Thank you for the responses btw!

My first was like this. I thought he hated me! He whinged and cried all day and then from 5pm-1am would scream inconsolably. It was hell.

I took him to a cranial osteopath and found he had a stiff neck from his forceps delivery and once we sorted this he was a lot better. He was also quite refluxy but when I spoke to the health visitor she said there was nothing that could be done as he was gaining weight well (which I was later told is not true and I could have got him some medication.)

By 12 weeks he grew out of his colic and neck was fixed and he was a LOT happier. He has been a sunny little thing ever since so hang in there. Some babies just seem to find the newborn stage very hard.

My second baby is now 3 months and he has been so chilled and happy since he was born so I think they are just all really different.

You are not doing anything wrong, you are doing amazingly just being there for him making him feel safe and loved. He’s not giving you anything back right now but he will. Keep doing what you are doing and it will get a million times easier very soon.

Wow I could have wrote this!

My baby is 8 weeks today and the same. Sleeps brilliantly at night from 7-6 only waking up twice. But during the day is either crying, sleeping or feeding. Also loves to be on my shoulder. Swapped him to reflux milk and I think he is very, very, very slowly improving.

Would love him to just be awake and happy during the day, sometimes feel like he hates me!

My baby was like this. I spent all day everyday walking round with him on my shoulder or rocking him to sleep. He was just so miserable. It was caused in part by my overactive let down.

It did get better at around 3 months though, so hang on in there. If after 3 months there is no improvement then ask if the doctor can prescribe ranitidine.

Honest though, my baby was pretty grumpy until about 6.5 months (although nothing like he was at about the 10 week mark). He got significantly happier when he could sit up unsupported.

It does get better, honest. I felt like I'd ruined my life at some points during those early days.

Thank you all for your responses and support. It’s just been so hard mainly because I feel like I can’t leave the house as he just gets so distressed and he’s had a few full on screeching meltdowns on the few occasions we have ventured out. He’s just gets so much more distressed in comparison to the other babies in our NCT group.

Fingers crossed he gets better by three months. If not, I’m definitely going back to the GP.

Thank you again!

Ps as soon as we stick the hairdryer on he stops crying which is another reason why I thought it might not be reflux (if he was in pain he would cry through the sound?!)

My little chap got better at around 13 weeks, he burps and passes wind but he still has some trapped in his tummy which can make him scream, you have prob tried all this but cycling mostions ... rolling onto tummy rolling back ... seems to push what is trapped.

Use infracol religiously as the wind makes hisnreflux worse ... will change roughly 3-4 times in a day ... sometime ( not often ) will use gripe water to help sooth it.

I keep him up for 20 mins after every feed day and night ... night feeds always go better, he feeds in a more relaxed way/ less acid.

We also found putting him on the 3 months plus tears helped x x good luck x x

We have a 5 week old DD and I only just said to my husband yesterday that I think she's so unhappy and miserable but can't put my finger on why. We too are at the consistent crying/feeding/sleeping stage, and the only time she's really chilled is in the bath or on my shoulder! She doesn't bring up a lot if wind no matter how hard we try even with infacol and gripe water and is most unhappy when laying on her back so possibly reflux? Praying it's grumpiness from her developmental leap! Hope your LO's are feeling a bit sunnier soon OP and everyone!

Try and get out if you can. No one will care if he is screaming. It will sound a lot worse to you than it will to anyone else because you are his mum. I was scared to take my ds1 out at first because he was a screamer but it helped to get out, the screaming sounded less loud outside and people didn’t notice as much as I though. Also try not to compare him to your nct friends babies. It won’t help you. Mine was a lot more unsettled than my nct friends babies and it used to stress me out. It won’t be like this forever. My ds1 is now a toddler and he is so lovely. Some of the angel babies from my nct group are right little terrors so it’s all swings and roundabouts hang in there. You are doing great

My son had acid reflux for some time too until we started using the acid reflux formula. It really helped with his mood and getting him out and about. Also baby gaviscon helped initially until we got it all under control. Really hope he feels better soon

My friend had a screamy baby and cranial osteopathy REALLY helped. The baby went from crying all day to being really calm and happy in 2 sessions.

My DS1 had reflux and we used the infant gaviscon in his bottles - how do they tell you to give it when you BF? Could you express some milk and give it to him that way, in a bottle? Or a little syringe (like for Calpol)?

You must be really stressed. Sorry you're going through this.

Thank you all for your messages of advice and support.

I was giving infant gaviscon using a spoon as the syringe I used pushed the liquid out really quickly and almost made DS choke! I tried giving the gaviscon with ebm in a bottle but try as we might DS won’t take a bottle (i sat in another room while hubs tries to feed DS). We really need to keep on working on getting him to take the bottle.

I will definitely try and get out, even for 20 mins or so, as being cooped up inside isn’t doing either of us good. He needs to start getting used to going out and about!

I’m going to search for recommend osteopaths in the area to see if they might help.

DS was weighed yesterday and he’s dropped from 50th centile to just below 25th. HV wasn’t worried as he’s gained weight, not lost, but he’s not put on as much and she wants to see him again in a month. She also said he was most likely teething as she could see two white bumps on his gums and she didn’t think they were oral thrush plaques.

I’ve found over the past few days he’s fed much better at night and if there are less distractions around. Last night he fed for a full 20 mins which he hasn’t done in weeks!

I’m hoping his weight gain picks up pace again. Really hope your LOs are sunnier too.

For teething, my DS both loved the Ashton & Parsons teething powder. You get it in Mothercare, Amazon, or some chemists. It was miraculous!

I'm glad he had the long feed -- did he seem happier after that?

Thanks for the tip @mollyslips, will have a look!

He seemed happier for about 20 minutes after the long feed then went back to being grumpy until he went on my shoulder.

I took him out today and he kicked off and this old man in a cafe told me he just needed a good winding lol.

I’m not 100% convinced it is reflux as he seems to be content when he’s having his nappy changed and he’s flat on his back then but then I can’t leave him flat as he starts grumbling within about 10mins. He seems to sleep fine through the night on his back too?? Perhaps I’m in denial about it. I’m just so scared to try him on reflux meds as I’m worried he’ll be on then for a while and it will be tough weaning him off.

Babies ey? Really wish they had a little display screen telling you what they needed 😂😭😂

My first was like this, except he didn't sleep for long at night either. He grew out of it and became a happy little soul. Some babies are just difficult.

I was also thinking maybe try a cranial osteopath. Find one that specialises in babies.

I really think some babies just hate being babies! Both of mine were really miserable for pretty much the first year of their lives, and it was so so hard (especially with my first as I blamed myself, and constantly tried to find ways to "fix" her) but they both blossomed into the happiest toddlers. My eldest dd was really independent and as soon as she could roll over, crawl, cruise, walk, she became a little bit happier each time. And dd2 was the same, much happier once she could move where she wanted to. If he's happier being held just roll with it and ignore anyone telling you you're making "bad habits", it's completely natural for a baby to want to be close to their mum. Hang on in there, it's so so tough, but oh so worth it!