Where does baby sleep

[Jauralane]

Ftm here, due in May. Apologies if this is really obvious but can't seem to find a straightforward answer online.

So I know the guidance is that when baby is born she should sleep in the same room as me for first few months. I have a next to me type crib for the bedroom and we are being gifted a Moses basket (family tradition) which we'll use in the living room during the day.

My question is, say she goes to bed for night at 7/8pm, should I put her to sleep in my bedroom? That seems to go against the guidance that they should sleep in the same room as you're in for the first while. But if she goes down for the night in the Moses basket in living room then it'll still be bright etc, and we would need to transfer her to the next to me when we go to bed which might wake her.

Help!!

The advice is to keep your baby in the same room as you when they sleep for at least the first six months.

If your baby falls asleep in their Moses basket I'd just carry it to bed with you when you go.

I just go to bed at the same time but have the tv on with subtitles

My lo is 9 weeks. We just take him to bed when we go between 10 and 11, sleeps in his carry cot or bouncer before this.

Your newborn won’t be going down to bed at 7pm. Most people I know, including us, have kept the baby with them downstairs (in our case alternating between screaming her head off and snoozing in the Moses basket) until they go up to bed themselves at around 10pm. Then once the baby is a bit older, going longer between feeds, you may have started a bedtime routine and they are generally sleeping a bit better you can think about putting them down earlier and getting your evening back. For us and most of our friends this was at about 4-5 months old. Although worth noting that safe sleep guidelines suggest keeping baby with you until 6 months.

We never had much success getting our daughter to sleep any earlier than we went to sleep for the first few months. When we started having any success with the bedtime concept (about 4-5 months for us, but our daughter wasn't a great sleeper) we just put or daughter down in our bedroom on her own figuring she wasn't that far off 6 months. We're in a small flat though so our bedroom door is only a few feet from our living area.

If you end up following some sort of routine structure though and have earlier bedtime success, there's usually a 'dream feed' at 10pm, so feasibly you could have your baby sleep in the main room where you are in the evening and then use the dream feed as a natural transition time to pick up your baby, feed, then put baby down in your bedroom and go to bed yourself. Very young babies do seem to be able to sleep with light and noise.

I bought a sleepyhead. Best purchase so far and still use it for my very small 5 month old!

Newborns don't really have a 7pm bedtime. Day and night are all one to start with.

6pm-9pm tends to be the witching hours! Cluster feeding, unsettled etc.

She might not sleep in either at first! She might love one or the other, or both. Most newborns sleep regardless of what's going on around them, they don't need quiet and dark like an older baby would.

I think its very unlikely you're going to be able to out her to bed, in bed at 7pm and leave her for any amount of time. But you never know!!

Basically, see what she's like when she turns up and do whatever works for you!

I would plan to keep her in the Moses basket with you until you go to bed. You should be able to transfer her to the cot easily enough. Or just put the Moses basket in the cot until she wakes for a feed and then change her over.

Having said all that, if you get one who goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps (lucky you!) that's also fine, you can leave her there just get a monitor.

DD2 is 5 weeks. Like you we had a bedside cot for during the night. During the day she sleeps in the carrycot of the pram or swing/bouncy chair. Obviously she's tiny so in an evening we keep her downstairs with us lights dimmed and either hold her while she's awake and feed her or even let her snooze on us whatever works. Then bring her upstairs when we go to bed.

I'm planning on keeping baby downstairs with us until I want to go to bed - then taking her up with me.

I don't think TV noise or light bothers them much to start with - they don't understand day and night, so they sleep when they want and scream if they don't regardless of what is going on around them.

My friend who is an experienced nanny says much better to get them used to sleeping in some noise anyway - you don't want a baby you have to tiptoe around.

That said though, I can happily go to bed now at 8.30 so I don't imagine I'll be up that late.

Thanks everyone, that answers it for me!

Most newborns are cuddled all evening and will sleep in your arms while you eat dinner with one hand and watch TV designed for adults. Enjoy the snuggles.

I think I have a wierd baby (now 4 months) - she managed being in Moses basket/on us before we went to bed until about 6 weeks. Then, she realised dark = sleep time and was clearly desperate to nod off at around 6.30 but just couldn’t do it with tv on, lights etc. It was a horrific cycle of feed, scream, nod off, be woken up by a cough/cat meow/light from tv and start the whole thing again.

In despair I went to Argos and bought a video monitor, then started a bedtime routine of bath, bottle then bed. Now, as soon as she gets in the bath she smiles and relaxes, then as soon as we head into the bedroom with the lights off and MyHummy toy on the eyelids start going!

I don’t think this works for everyone, but for us it was a case of realising that this is what she needed to help her get some restorative sleep. It has lead to her being able to self settle in her Sleepyhead in her crib with zero crying, which in turn has helped her learn to sleep better as she can self settle when she awakes with the white noise on and darkness.

Again, I think she’s just a wierd baby but the moral of the story is to take notice of what your baby needs and go with that.

Also, on a side note, this whole ‘bedroom = sleep’ thing has kind of backfired, as she repsolutely will not nap in the crib in the day. Has to be in Mamaroo, car seat or buggy with blackout cover over her 😂😂😂

*resolutely