How normal is crying before school?

[yesyesyep]

I remember not wanting to go to school. Faking tummy aches, being found out and taken to school anyway. I didn't like it but I did it.

I have a 9 year old who is really struggling and it's breaking my heart. How much school resistance is normal?

He cries on the way to school (30 min journey), all the way home and before he goes to bed because he knows there is school the next day. He is so so upset, nothing will console him.

When asked about it, he doesn't seem to understand why he is crying. He swings between no one wants to play with him (teachers say isn't true) to he hasn't had enough sleep (definitely not true as he is the first one awake in the morning). I don't think he is coping very well at all.

How much resistance is normal? What would you do if he was your child?

I teach in Y3, and if he was in my class I would definitely want to know about this. When it happens there is always some trigger, which needs sensitive handling.
Emotional stability and confidence are so important. I would ask to speak to the class teacher, without the child. Begin by saying that you would like to ask for some help. ( I mention this because many parents approach schools thinking that any problems must be the teacher’s fault - exhausting to deal with.)
Consider any changes at home, any friend issues, tv programmes that may have unsettled him, illness in the family etc. Sometimes an attachment issue can cause behaviour like this.
It is often the case that as soon as the child gets busy in class, with the usual routines and expectations, they settle and get on with the day. As class teacher I would try to find time to talk to the child, find him/her a few jobs to do at playtime so that we can talk and be busy at the same time. I would watch out for signs of being overwhelmed with work and do lots and lots of encouragement and praise.
Take any other pressures at home off him - extra curricular clubs etc. Invite friends for tea and let him play. Nourish him with good meals, time and lots of sleep.
Although this is distressing for you at the moment, it is likely to be a few months blip in his childhood. Try to relax and ‘love him through it.’ I work in a school with some very challenging children and do not live in an ‘Enid Blyton world!’ In my experience of over 30 years teaching, security in its many forms is the root of many children’s problems.
Hope this helps.

Thank you for your reply. It's really helpful to hear from a teachers perspective.

His teacher appeared to dismiss it as 'one of those things' but it's been slowly building. I absolutely don't blame the teachers, although I know he mentions one is stricter and he resists a lot with her.

I'm going to give him extra cuddles and praise when he gets home, and hopefully he can enjoy the weekend with no pressure. It does feel like sometimes that makes it worse as he doesn't want it to end on Monday. (Like 99% of the population!)