I feel like a cow

[chocolatesparkles]

Please someone tell me I'm not being a completely cow. My DC is four and has had chickenpox.

She has been in bed with me for over a week as it has been easier. Multiple night wakings due to being uncomfortable, calomile cream needing applying. I think one night I was awake with her 6/7 times. You get the point.

Yesterday I could tell she was feeling better (playing more/fighting with siblings/eating/not needing medicine etc)
and so we said that tonight she would be in her own bed. All hell has broken loose. She is crying shouting mummy. I have tried being gentle and explaining so now I am just putting her back in bed with no talking. She is currently crying for me but staying in bed.
I feel like the worst mum in the world. I know it's my fault but she had to be with me when she was poorly. I'm dead on my feet with tiredness. I need to sleep. Please tell me it's ok. Or am I wrong? I know if I give in like she wants and she has one more night in with me it will be the same tomorrow...

You have made the decision. Best for her to see you sticking to it.
Worse would be a sleep deprived dm tomorrow ime. ...
Maybe a treat tomorrow? For you too!!

No I think this is fair. You cannot carry on like this forever, so there has to be a cut off point. I would make it clear that it's too tiring to have her in your bed long term and this is the only option, then stand firm.

Thank you for confirming what I thought.
I honestly can't think straight I'm so tired. I cried earlier because I nodded off after bath. Managed to get her to sleep in bed after sitting with her but she has been carrying on for 40 minutes now. She scared of her room, wants one last kiss and cuddle, wants one last night in my bed, feels poorly. I know it's all for effect but I feel like crap right now. She has been so poorly but you're right it does have to stop. If I gave in now it would be worse tomorrow.

It's ok. Be nice to her, go lots if you need to this time, be gentle but firm. Keep leaving after a short while.

Agree - stick to your guns. And if she stays in bed, a present or treat for her tomorrow for being a good girl and staying in bed.

I’m not having a go in the slightest, we all do what we need to do - but this is the exact scenario why I never allow my kids in my bed. Because I know this would happen! I’ve slept on the floor in my kids room when they were sick, and then they whined for me to keep doing it, so I know it would be even harder if they were in our bed.

I think you just have to be gentle but firm with her OP. Go in and sit with her, tell her now that she’s better she sleeps in her own bed again. Treat tomorrow if she does well. If she was previously sleeping fine in her own room then I’m sure she’ll go back to her normal routine in a day or 2

There's a pattern setup where your child has learned to expect you'll be there in bed with them every night, which is completely unsustainable of course. Appreciate what you must be going through, evolving the habit step by step each night for example is one solution, you can sit in a chair in the same room until they go to sleep, then eventually let them sleep on their own again.

Any attempt to keep the argument going for you staying every night is just prolonging the pattern, one simple statement so they know the rule, then just as calm as you can keep it. Essentially any drama just be kind and keep what you said, they can fall asleep through drama or boredom, hit them with the boredom, everyone knows what you're going to do, you do it, they fall asleep. Over time they'll get it possibly quite quickly, well, in theory anyway :), good luck

You are doing the right thing but I would probably say 'okay, one last night' just so I could get some sleep, then prepare her all day the next day for her own bed. I am a bit soft though (and lazy!).

Thanks everyone for the kind words. Tonight she went straight to be with no fuss so it was definitely the right thing to do.

Great news! Hope you've had a decent night's sleep and are feeling better too now.