My almost 18 month old won't let me sooth him to sleep

[vinoblanco1]

And I feel like the worlds worst Mother because of it.

He has never been the greatest sleeper but he started sleeping through the night after I stopped breastfeeding at 11 months. He is awful at nap times - won't sleep unless he's in the car or the pushchair.

At bedtime, he will always scream his head off when I put him down. If I manage to get him to lie-down and partially asleep, it's as though he sleeps with one eye open and starts screaming if I attempt to leave. If stay in the room, I'm in there for hours and then I get no evening.

I have resulted in leaving him to 'cry it out' so I'll walk out of the room once I've read to him and given him his milk but this leaves me feeling awful. He will only cry for anywhere between 5-10 minutes if that but why is he eventually settling better without me? I never thought I'd use this method to get him to sleep. I feel so clueless.

Does this happen to anybody else?

Some babies are just like this ime.

I think some adults are like this too!

There are some people who just need time alone/their own space to settle/be calm.

Other people need company and contact to settle.

I think maybe people who are quite sensitive to sensory input/easily overwhelmed can find another person just too stimulating. So, he's tired, but you being there is too interesting for him to sleep! He just needs you to leave him so he can settle.

When you say he cries for 5-10 minutes is it upset crying or more tired whinging?

My 20-month-old daughter is a total extrovert and really feeds off people’s energy. She also has always struggled to fall asleep if anyone is in the room with her. Now that she talks, when I’ve finished reading her a story and tucking her in she’ll sometimes say “I love you... go go go!” And motion me out of her room! She still typically whimper-cries for 2-5 minutes before falling asleep. She does it in the middle of the night sometimes too, between sleep cycles. If I go in to her at that point, she looks at me like I’m crazy for disturbing her. I asked a few other mums about this as well as our GP... apparently it’s perfectly normal! It also makes me feel like a crappy mum sometimes, but in every respect my DD is so happy and well-adjusted... I’ve chosen to believe the other mums and GP are probably right! Apparently some kids just need a bit of a cry to unwind from a busy day. Obviously if it’s a raging, heart-wrenching cry you might want to investigate further, but if it’s more of an “I’m so tired” whimper (or even an occasional “I’m exhausted but why do the grown ups get to stay up and what am I missing?!” cry) then everything is probably ok!