Experiences of big age gap between dcs

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About to have a 7.5 year age gap.. have started panicking about logistics

Can you tell me good bad and ugly!

It's amazing!!! I had a 19 month gap between my older dds and now have a 4mo. My older dds are 11 and 9.

They help, entertain and love having a baby! And, you get the school hours to yourself and baby!

My girls already all have a great bond. You'll love it x

I have an ~18 year gap between DC2 & DC3 but thats possibly not much help to you.

Yep I have 7 years between my son (nearly 9) and daughter (14 months). He helps now and again but mostly on his terms! His additional needs make the dynamic harder and it took us a while (ok nearly a whole year) to find our flow. Mostly though because I'm now a SAHM and find this so hard - I'd rather be at work 😬 They love each other dearly though and we have some very sweet moments that outweigh the difficult times.

I have 5.5 years between my two. Early days are fairly easy as the older one is at school so you get lots of time with the baby, though juggling naps with school runs can be a bit of a nightmare!

Mine are now 3 and nearly 9 and it can be tricky to keep them both entertained at the weekend as obviously their interests and abilities are quite different. They fight and play with each other in equal measure, I don’t see any difference there to siblings with a smaller age gap.

I have 8 3/4 year gap. Older one is brilliant with little one. He is eager to help. Loves reading the bedtime story to his DB. Will see how it is when they get older.

I have 7 years between mine and it’s fine, baby come too for a while and fits in with older child but it’s a bit like have only children for a big part as the older one leave home as the younger one becomes a teen

A word of warning. I was 8 years younger than my sister. She liked helping out when I was very small, but later she tended to take over as parent, and as our mother worked long shifts and slept in the day, a lot of things happened that should not have been allowed to (bullying). She was always good at explaining stuff away or outwitting our mother. Remember you are the parent, not the older child!

Another one with a 7 year gap between dc2 and dc3. It's been fabulous. I would never have planned it this way. But the older 2 adore dc3..it has had a great effect on our family dynamic. Dc3 is nearly 2 now and I'm yet to hear either big child angry with him. Dc2 baths with him every night. And we're all currently watching CBeebies!

There 8 years between mine.
They are now 16 and 8. It's all fine day to day, I like that's when I had the baby my eldest one was fairly self sufficient so I never felt like I was juggling

One part I did have a few dramas were holidays \ days out . The age range ment they were i to different things.
Me and do went for divide and conquer and took one each rather than have the stress

Following this.

DD is 9, son is due this week. In all honesty i’m really upset about the gap but due to secondary infertility it couldn’t be helped. I just hope they are close and grow up being a part of each other’s lives. We are planning on going for IVF again next year for a closer gap between 2&3. I never wanted 3 kids but feel like we have to now! I don’t feel complete with the way things are.

Hoping there’s advantages to both big and small gaps!

It will be lovely. It’s great being able to go for a wee or shower knowing older D.C. will listen for baby and not carry them to you by their leg.

My youngest loves the oldest picking them up from school or gong to a coffee shop together.

As pp said the youngest tends to get taken out mid nap to pick up older one but they seem to manage just fine. Days out can be tricky but with a bit of planning it’s fine (Harry Potter studios were great). Also films eg “no, no, no. Not Game of Thrones. Turn it off.”

Six years between mine. They have very little in common but that is more down to their personality / interests, but they rarely clashed growing up and are fairly close now at 15 and 21.

I've 5 years between DC1 and 2, 8 years between DC2 and 3 and 13 years between 1 and 3.
Mostly it's amazing, you've avoided the so close we squabble all the time stage and yet they still want to play together.
Theme parks are tricky! Too spread in age to find any common ground so we tend to split up.

9 years between my DSs. There's always good points and bad. DS1 (11) helps me a lot and is generally very good but still suffers jealousy sometimes (he spent 9 years as an only child so understandable). DS1 looks after his little brother and his friends enjoy coming round for cuddles. The brothers adore one another.
I find the age difference difficult at times. DH works away a lot and I find trying to hold down full time work, getting DS1 to clubs whilst trying to keep DS2 (2) in a bedtime routine quite hard. Luckily I have good friends!
Wouldn't change it for the world though!!

Ooh good luck @VillageFete

And thanks for all the positive stories.. I hope it will be ok but any tips welcome and forewarned is forearmed!

Two DDs with a 10 year gap. No issues really, it they weren't close during teen years of youngest. Now both very close.

5 years here. 7 and 2. Some of this depends on the personality of the kids in question. DS1 has never ever been jealous. I would say DS2 gets more territorial than he does. He’s a fab big brother and it’s great to get a lie in because DS1 will read to DS2. They are v close, they do play together loads- DS1 creates all this make believe scenarios and DS2 joins in. They do painting and play doh ‘together’ and DS1 quite enjoys playing with the baby toys again. I make sure DS1 has some sibling free time every day. I could never ever have coped with a small gap so this works well for us.
Incidentally my sibling and I are 15 years apart but very close as adults. Our children (well our oldest) are also 15 years apart and are also v close in their own way. My niece is fabulous with her baby cousins and they fully adore her.
Yes sometimes they want to do different things. But once past the baby stage I found we could all ride a bike, swim, hike together or go to museums etc. Sometimes we divide and conquer but most of the time it’s fine- each kid has to adjust. Some days are more for DS1 and some for DS2.