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Parenting

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Original poster

Breastfeeding 9 month old

16 replies

Redrupunzle · 18/03/2019 20:00

Evening all. My Dd is 8.5m and breastfed. She does eat some solids, we're BLW and tbh although she's getting better a lot ends up on the floor.

I'm returning to work next month, just 2 days a week. my Mil is having her and I'm wondering if I can try to space out her feeds during the day.

Currently she feeds at 4am, 9am, 12pm 6pm and 8pm. Can I try and drop the 12pm one? She's a massive bottle refuser. I've tried every day since christmas. I've tried different bottles but currently I've been trying the same bottle for 3 weeks and she will not entertain it. She'll have water out of a cup but not milk.

If I can skip the 12pm feed and move the 9am one to 8am then I can work. I just don't know what to do for the best. I want to breastfeed but I need to work two days now.

I fed my elder child until 1 but didn't return to work and can't honestly remember how often she was feeding at this age

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 18/03/2019 21:50

Are you returning full time?

Original poster

Redrupunzle · 19/03/2019 06:48

No just two days per week

OP posts:

sittingonacornflake · 19/03/2019 06:55

Have you heard of reverse cycling? When mums go back to work and baby can't feed in the day they just wait and make up for it by having extra feeds over night. It will be fine OP. My baby is 13 months now but since he was about your baby's age I've been able to leave him all day without milk (he won't take a bottle) and then on the days we are together sometimes he will feed multiple times a day. They just have it when it's available and when they're hungry. Sadly all night in my baby's case.

But if you're feeling nervous I'd do a trial run or two before you go back to work.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/03/2019 07:43

I went back at the same age at 9 months and also worked 2 days. The DGP offered more solids and a cup of cows milk after lunch and I carried on with the usual feeds for the other days. I did express for comfort a few times at work. Would something like that work for you?

CountessVonBoobs · 19/03/2019 07:46

Yes, you can do that. Baby will be fine and will either eat more solids and drink water/drink formula or expressed from a cup if you want to offer it/just feed more when you're there. 2 days a week isn't much anyway. Don't worry, babies are very adaptable and a new and workable routine will establish itself for both of you.

Original poster

Redrupunzle · 19/03/2019 08:54

Yay! thank you for the replies. I'll Google reverse cycling. Its a new job and I've been getting stressed I'd have to turn it down. Will definitely take the pump with me for lunchtime.

OP posts:

Kokeshi123 · 19/03/2019 11:23

Reverse-cycling sounds like hell to me--it might be hard to impress your boss in your new job if you are a sleep deprived zombie all day. Can you mix EBM or formula into things like porridge/baby cereals, and work on getting her to eat more?

NuffSaidSam · 19/03/2019 11:41

Has MIL tried giving her a bottle? Away from you, maybe at her house?

I find lot of baby's will refuse a bottle from mum, but happily take it from someone else, particularly when they realise it's that or nothing!

I find the Tomee Tipee closer to nature ones very good for bottle refusers.

I would definitely do a trail run and see how MIL gets on. Maybe she'll take the bottle or the cup, maybe she'll eat more. Maybe it will be a nightmare, but at least you'll know!

Original poster

Redrupunzle · 19/03/2019 11:57

I can cope fine on little sleep, she was up every hour until last month anyway. And I can definitely get through two days a week

Currently she won't take a bottle from anyone. She'll drink a little little bit from a cup. She also doesn't have porridge, the only thing she'll be spoon fed is Mashed swede/carrot which I do sometimes add a touch of milk to

I won't be starting for 5 weeks so I've started to move the 9am feed nearer 8 and in a couple of weeks I'll start trying to phase out the 12pm one

Not keen on expressing milk tbh, I have in the past and always end up with engorgement even if I only express a little

OP posts:

bellajay · 19/03/2019 12:02

I know you haven’t asked for bottle advice but just in case, this is what worked for me (I had a flat out bottle refuser too and none of the bottles or helpful tips worked).

In the end a few weeks ago we picked a weekend and just cut him off the breast (bear with me, the end result was mixed feeding). We kept offering bottles of freshly expressed milk (keeping it as close to the real thing as poss) and at first he refused or took the bare minimum. After about 36 hours he started taking full feeds. We had two meltdowns total which to be honest were not that bad to handle and were short. Mostly he was his usual chilled out self. If not, I would have given in and breastfed as I’m very soft with him!

We stuck to bottles then for another two days, I expressed the whole time. After that time, we were able to switch between both with no problems.

Either way your baby will be absolutely fine for those two days. She will probably be distracted by being in a different environment and she can have solids to keep her going.

Divgirl2 · 19/03/2019 15:57

I went back to work at 9 months and my lovely little bottle refuser went to nursery. He was absolutely fine.

I sent him with a bottle, he drank the whole thing. We'd never been able to get him to show any interest.

If your baby is going to be with family they might decide that they'll take a bottle since you're not there. Or they could offer it in a different cup (sippy cup or whatever). If they'll only eat mashed swede and will barely drink from a cup at all I'd be concerned about dehydration if you're gone all day.

You've got 5 weeks anyway, babies change so much in such a short time at that age so by the time you go back they'll probably be drinking a lot more water from cups, and eating more foods. I wouldn't worry too much.

1stMrsF · 19/03/2019 17:48

At about the same age and also BLW I offered a sippy cup of expressed milk and a snack instead of the feed I wanted to drop. Took a few weeks but it worked. Especially at 12pm you could offer lunch instead?

MissBPotter · 19/03/2019 17:53

I didn’t bother really trying to cut any feeds out, maybe I did try for the midday (ish) one. When I was out she had water or cows milk/formula and when I was with her she breastfed.

hoppybee · 19/03/2019 18:06

Hiya,
I could have written the exact same thing. Refused to take a bottle even up to the day before I returned to work when he was 9 months. I left him with my mum, some formula and the tommeee tippee bottles. He took one from her no problem! I think he realised he had no other option. As for me - I was feeding him about the same as you, but my boobs adjusted within the week to feeding morning and evening and overnight. I worried during the summer would I be able to feed on demand and it was absolutely fine :) obviously all babies are different but I panicked so much for no reason so just thought I'd share!

Original poster

Redrupunzle · 19/03/2019 18:25

Thank you for the nice replies I really appreciate the help.

When I said she only eats Mashed swede I meant that's the only thing she'll be spoon fed. She eats plenty of finger food and will have water out of a cup.

I'm feeling so much more positive about the whole thing now. Hopefully she'll cope

OP posts:

ZaphodBeeblerox · 19/03/2019 18:45

Good luck on getting back to work OP. Honestly you will be fine I promise. My DD was a total bottle refuser until she was left alone with my mum and I went to work. Even now at 15 months she has 3-4 feeds on days I am home, and just the morning feed on days I am at work. I couldn’t cope with reverse cycling and I went back to work slightly later (when she was 11 months) so I sleep trained. That isn’t the choice all families would make but after 11 months of feeding through the night and cosleeping I had had enough. As a bonus my mostly indifferent to solids DD finally started eating too.
I find babies are super resilient and adjust easily. And you trying a bottle when the boob is right there is nothing like someone else offering warm milk when mummy is away. So try a sippy cup, let MIL get on with things however she wants... there will be a rough couple of initial days but they’ll settle down soon enough!

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