Resistance going to nursery

[Tobebythesea]

Help please! I have a just turned 3 year old DD who has been to nursery (varying ft and pt) since she was 10 months.

She moved rooms at the beginning of January from toddler to preschool where the staff aren’t as engaging or friendly. This hasn’t really been an issue until about 2 weeks ago where she’s started to really resist getting in the car to go to nursery.

I can get her shoes and coat on whilst she’s watching postman pat and give her a warning about tv stopping and going to nursery. She’s fine going out to the car but then refuses to get in. I’m 4 months pregnant and cannot wrestle her into the car even if I could. I have used bribes a lot such as her playing with a toy in the car with some success.

I asked nursery for advice and they were useless, shrugged shoulders and said something about it being a phase. Any advice welcome.

That’s crap of them. Have you spoken to the staff in the room or the manager? I’ve had similar but the main issues was that her friends moved up a room and she was left behind. I have had to resort to taking her with shoes and coat in her bag. I’m also pregnant and tired.

What worked for us was me putting her stuff in the car and just putting my coat on and getting in the car, bribery withi chocolate and her having breakfast at home and going in later but nursery have also now moved her up at my request. I alway ring 30 mins later and she is happy playing and she doesn’t want to come home at the end of the day!

Is she staying at this nursery in September or moving to a school nursery?

Getting out the door in the mornings is tough. My oldest one is in primary school and it is no easier. It's likely not because she doesn't like nursery or it isn't good for her, but because transitions are hard when you are a little person. I would try being as organised as you can be, get everything ready and waiting by the door, perhaps have a check list of things to do each morning to get ready (which may be more or less helpful with a 3 year old as they can't really read anyway), and honestly, I'd probably cut out the tv. Getting them out the door is hard, getting them out the door and away from something they'd rather be doing is even harder. Nursery are somewhat right. It probably is a phase. It won't go away, as you'll be dealing with this forever, but it will get easier eventually.

When my DC went through phases like this I found it worked best to be very matter of fact about it. "Right DD, it's time to jump in the car now" and repeat. No shouting / getting cross / punishing / begging / encouraging / rewarding / pleading / bribing. Just repeating over and over until they got bored. Leave a little extra time so you're not stressed about being late.

If it's possible to try getting her dressed without TV I'd give that a go. They zone out when they're watching TV, then when it goes off they are back in the real world and it's a shock to the system - rather than warming her up to the day ahead.

Also I put a bit of dry cereal in a snack pot for my daughter to nibble on the way also helps to entice her into the car.

And put her shoes and coat on when you arrive at nursery, rather than before you get in (getting warmer now too so not such an issue). Good luck X

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that has to bribe them into the car with chocolate

I use food as bribery as well I'm ashamed to admit. Usually something healthy like raspberries or blueberries but sometimes chocolate if it's really bad. There's just no way I can wrestle a 39 lb child into a car seat.

Oh mine does this.

However tbh it doesn't sound like the staff at your DD's nursery are very nice? At my DS's nursery they are absolutely lovely and some days he's more than happy to go so I really do think it's a phase with him.

It sounds like there might actually be a valid reason behind it in your DD's case? Have you thought about moving her?