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Parenting

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SATS Y6 Anxiety

4 replies

dinomum13 · 17/03/2019 18:09

Hi
I wondered if anyone could give me some advice? My daughter is currently on the CAMHS ASD pathway awaiting diagnosis and also suffers quite severe OCD. The school have never picked on on any red flags over the years because the is extremely good at masking her symptoms but comes home and has severe meltdowns almost daily. The teaching staff look at me in disbelief that there are any real issues as she is fairly academic and good as gold at school. She is currently extremely anxious about her SATS and the school have been really piling on the pressure to the point that she was unable to go to school last week she was so afraid of failing just a practice paper.
Whatever I say makes no difference to her she really wants to get a good score. I am wondering if I should withdraw her from doing them altogether? - obviously I don't want to do this and I'm worried about the psychological impact of doing this too.
She is unable to sleep and very ill from the worry. I just don't know what to do for the best.
I'm seeing the headeacher next week but Im expecting the same disbelief and denial about any pressure. I'm feeling really anxious myself from living with a child whose emotions explode at any given moment.
They all seem to act as though I'm making it up or something but they don't see my little girl screaming and crying herself to sleep every night - it's heartbreaking. She wants to do so well but she sets her expectations really high because the other girls in her class are unusually academic and she sees them get higher scores with ease. We are not at all bothered by her scores, we just want her to be happy.
Grateful for any advice

OP posts:
Parker231 · 17/03/2019 18:14

I would definitely take her out of school during the SATS. The results measure the school, not your DD. It’s horrendous that schools put so much pressure on children. I’ve heard of schools insisting children do practice papers after school and over the weekend and even hold early morning extra classes. These schools must be seriously concerned about their poor teaching.

lljkk · 17/03/2019 18:48

The pressure is in the build up, though, not in the actual test week. If you're going to take her out, then take her out now, to avoid the build up that is making her suffer now.

I guess long term strategy is getting her not to take it all so seriously, because kids get lots of assessments in yrs7-13, too. DD was a perfectionist age 14-15, but not since. I took her to stress counsellor fo 2 sessions which helped. I don't know what you do to destress a perfectionist 10yo.

TeenTimesTwo · 18/03/2019 19:50

The pressure is in the build up.

Can you record her having a meltdown and take it in to show school?

Can you then explain that if their goal is for her to get best results they need to lighten up?

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dinomum13 · 19/03/2019 08:27

Thanks that is good idea about showing a recording.
Im also glad to hear that your DD lljkk moved through this phase. Ive been doing all sorts of catatrophising myself imagining she's never going to take any tests...

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