Undecided on having dc2!

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I have a 4 year old. I have adult step children whom I have raised from very young and the age gap between my DD and DSCs is obviously quite big.

I always thought I wanted one child only, but am now wavering. I'm of an age and a point in life where its now or never and I can't decide.

I loved the baby years, and I know that a second child would be different as I'd have to do school run etc with a baby in tow rather than just do whatever suits me and the baby.

But I can't decide whether I actually want another child, or whether I'm just longing to go back in time and relive all the baby moments? How do you work this out? I do like the idea of my DD having a little sibling and having two but I also know it'll be hard work.

If I don't have another I'm worried I'd regret it. DP is open to either possibility and is really leaving it to me.

For those of you who were torn between sticking with one vs having another, what was the deciding factor, regardless of which you decided?

My deciding factor was an overwhelming urge to have one. Not sure that helps...

I was in the same boat as you last year. I have a 5 year old DS and now have a 22 week old DS2. I honestly think that if you can have more then go for it.

It was difficult in the early days trying to deal with a newborn and get DS1 to school on time, especially when trying to establish BFeeding and my husband works early shifts so it means it solely falls on me, but after a few weeks it all settles down, the baby gets into a routine and my 5 year old has also adjusted well, baby gets put in the buggy and me and my other son have a good chat on the way to school in the morning (also helped get back into exercising again).

The other part I liked about the age gap is having time to spend with my 5 year old in his first year at school, doing his homework with him and being around earlier than normal, it really has been lovely.

I go back to work in October and I’m sure this will be another adjustment, so maybe other people can give you a better insight of what it’s like if you have to balance work and two kids, I’ve still got this experience to come.

Overall, I would say I have enjoyed this maternity leave more than the last as you know what is expected, it is sometimes a struggle to balance both and you will probably feel a bit guilty that you aren’t giving your older child more attention but everything slots into place after a while.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I have a 4 1/2 year old and was convinced I only wanted 1 until a year ago when I started to get a little bit broody, I also thought it would be nice for Dd to have a sibling. I wouldn't say I had an overwhelming urge though. I just thought its now or never lets just do it. I then had an ectopic which made me realise I really did want another when faced with the possibility of the choice being out of my hands. I am now 23 weeks with a little boy and cant wait to meet him.

Following. In the same boat as you. Have a 3yr old and think now or never

I did it because I wanted DC1 to have a sibling. I love my dc2 to pieces and don’t regret him but my advise to anyone considering number 2 is don’t do it for this reason, DC1 would probably have a nicer childhood if I hadn’t have had another and don’t underestimate how hard it is. I found 2 more than twice the work.

Specialkay I initially was upset that I'd missed the typical 2 year age gap but I have thought recently that this gap is ncie, as you say, because of quality time with #2 when #1 is in school.

Generationrenter I can imagine it is hard work. I have only lived with my DSCs since school age, but I know multiple children come with extra work. Having 3 faces all adamant 'I didn't do it' is not a fun challenge for a start!

I do feel quite sad at the thought of no more baby times, and I like the idea of my DD having the closest sibling relationship her older step-siblings have. And to have a shared family history that she's doesn't quite have with them.